She's All I Ever Had
by angelluv

Rating: NC-17
Classification:  Willow/Angel
Disclaimer: I own nothing and all belongs to Joss Whedon yada yada yada.
Summary:  Angel and Willow find love together.
<this indicates thoughts>

Part 1

Angel stared at Willow from across the dance floor at the Bronze.  He wondered what she could be thinking about so intensely.  She was sitting alone.  Willow was staring out at the dance floor with a distant look on her face.  A song that Oz had sung to she was being played.  As he watched her, her eyes slowly started to fill up with tears.  As Angel was about to go to her, she got up,  grabbed her things, and ran out the door.

Willow ran as fast as her legs could carry her.  She had no idea where she was going.  She just had to outrun her thoughts.  She felt so sad and lonely.  She and Oz had broken up the week before.  Oz had decided that he couldn't get the thought of her and Xander kissing out of his mind.  Willow tried to explain to Oz that kissing Xander had been something she had wanted for so long, and when it finally happened she wasn't thinking about anything but Xander kissing her.  Both had thought this was the end for them.  They had no idea what Spike was going to do to them.  She did realize, though, that she no longer loved Xander like she had thought.  She now realized that her love for Xander was that of a friend and nothing more.  It could never be anything more.

Willow finally stopped at the playground by the swing set.  She fell to the ground and sobbed out her grief for everything in her life that was wrong or going wrong.  She cried for Giles and his loss of Jenny.  She cried for her loss of Oz and what may have been if he had given their relationship a chance.  She cried for Buffy and all that had happened to the Slayer in her young life.  But most of all she cried for Angel and all that he had been through.

Angel found her finally in the park.  She was lying on the ground and sobbing her heart out.  Slowly he walked over to her and fell to his knees beside her.  He slowly gathered her up and cradled her to his chest.  He didn't say anything to her.  He just slowly and softly stroked her hair and rocked her in his arms.  She finally stopped crying and just laid there in his arms.

"Willow tell me what wrong?  Why are you crying?"  At first he didn't think she would answer him, but slowly everything she had been feeling came pouring out of her.

Angel suddenly tensed and Willow looked at him with a question in her eyes.  "We have to get out of here now!  Do you have a stake on you?"

"In my back pocket.  Where are they Angel?"

"Over there by the bushes.  Do you trust me?"

Without any hesitation she answered him.  "Yes."

Slowly Angel pulled her closer and tipped her chin up with a finger.  Willow brought her eyes to Angel with a question in them.  "Trust me," he whispered as he lowered his lips to hers.  At first was stunned when his lips touched hers.  She always had thought Angel was breathtaking, but never gave much thought to him because he was Buffy's and that was just the way things were.  This was definitely something that would only happen in her dreams.

When Angel touched his lips to hers he didn't expect the jolt that rocked through him like lightening.  He was so surprised that he momentarily forget about the three vampires hiding and watching them in the bushes.  Her lips were so incredibly soft and full.  He felt it all the way down to his toes. He slowly lifted his head and looked into her eyes.  Her eyes told Angel all he needed to know.  In her eyes was desire and a need so strong that Angel could deny her nothing.  He lowered his head again and kissed his way from lips to her throat.  When his soft, cool lips touched the pulse point in her throat, Willow moaned.  She couldn't help it.  Angel lifted his head just enough that Willow could feel his lips moving as he spoke to her.

"Get ready they are coming out of hiding.  Do you have a cross on you?"  Willow slightly nodded her head indicating she had a cross.  Angel was blocking the view of the vampires approaching so she could grab it out of the front pocket of her jeans.

Suddenly with vampire speed Angel confronted the vampires.  He had brought Willow up with him and had her by the neck.  He had his game face on and growled a warning to the approaching vampires.  He could tell they were fledglings and wouldn't know that he had a soul.

"How dare intrude when I'm feeding! Go and find your own meal to feed on."

Angel could only hope this would work.  If he was alone he could have easily handled the three vampires, but he didn't want Willow to get hurt.  Unfortunately, they were not going to give up a chance to feed on Willow.  The vampires were fresh from the grave.  The dirt was still on their clothes.  The only advantage Angel had was that they were fledglings and the bloodlust was on them.  It made them not think too clearly.

The three vampires were spreading out and slowly surrounding Angel and Willow.  Angel could feel Willow trembling.  He pulled her closer to his body.  This helped to calm Willow a little, but not much.  The first vampire attacked.  Angel threw a punch and the vampire went down.  Willow saw another one move forward when Angel was attacking the first one.  She brought her hand up and thrust the cross into his face.  The vampire backed quickly away from them which gave Angel time to stake the first one, turning him to dust.  As Angel engaged the second vampire Willow held off the third with the cross.

Angel's attack was ruthless.  Willow had never seen him fight like that before.  She was watching him so intently she never saw the blow come to her head.  The third vampire had punched her and was trying to grab her.  As she screamed out Angel's name he staked the second vampire.  When Angel saw that the third vampire had dared to touch his Willow, all hell broke loose inside of him.  Angel was consumed with a rage so great he could not contain it.

With a menacing roar, he let loose and attacked the third vampire.  Angel beat him until he was senseless.  This still was not enough to release the rage he was feeling inside.  He grabbed the vampire and ripped his heart out through his chest.  Willow could only stare at Angel as the third vampire turned to dust.  Angel was still trying to control the rage when he turned to face Willow.  They just stared at each other for a minute.  Angel could see the fear that clearly showed in Willow's eyes.

Angel was ashamed that Willow had witnessed this side of him.  He turned away from her and willed his game face to retreat.  After he got control he faced Willow again and began to apologize to her.

"Willow I am sor.."

Willow rushed to Angel and threw her arms around his neck.  Angel was shocked.  He expected Willow to be repulsed by his actions.

"Angel you have nothing to be sorry for.  You saved my life again.  I will never be able to repay you for all the times you have saved me."  Angel just drew her into his arms and hugged her.  He could not believe how this small girl could see past his faults and know what he was and still call him a friend.

Angel looked closer at Willow's face and saw she was bleeding from a cut on her mouth.

"Willow you're bleeding.  We need to get you in to fix you up."

As they walked through the park, Angel kept his arm around Willow's shoulder.  She felt so safe and protected.   She couldn't believe that Angel had his arm around her.  She kept thinking about the kiss they shared in the park and wondered what it meant.

Before she knew it they were at her house.  Angel saw the house was dark.

"Where are your parents?"

"They're in New York for three weeks at a conference."

"Do they often leave you home alone?"

"Yes, but I'm used to it now.  As soon as I was old enough to take care of myself they would go on business trips.  It's really not a big deal anymore."

Angel gave Willow his phone number and told her to call if she needed anything and he would come to her.  He waited until Willow was in the house and she had gone to bed before he left to go home.

Part 2

The next morning Willow was glad it was Saturday.  She had a bruise on her face from the vampire punching her.  She sighed as she looked in the mirror. <Great just what I need.>  Willow struggled to cover the bruise as best as she could with the wonders of make-up.  <Not bad.  At least mom and dad wont see this and wonder what happened.>

Willow was sitting in front of her computer thinking about things.  She had been having dreams about Angel in Hell.  At first she thought they were just nightmares, but the things in the dreams were never about her, but about Angel.  Angel spoke to her in the dreams, telling her thank you for giving him his soul back.  He begged her to find a way to get him out of Hell.  The demons in Hell to unspeakable things to him that brought tears to hers eyes.  After the dreams started Willow found a spell, with the help of her wiccan friends on the net, to get Angel out of Hell.  It took about 2 weeks to get everything prepared to perform the spell, but Willow got Angel out.

Willow spent the rest of the day trying to find Buffy by searching on the internet.  She had no luck.  Wherever Buffy was she didn't want to be found.  Willow wished with all of her heart that she could tell Buffy Angel was back and his soul was permanent.  After Buffy had sent Angel to Hell she had disappeared and hadn't been heard or seen from in two months.  After searching for hours, Willow decided she had searched enough for the day.    She checked out her wiccan sites to see if anything new was going on.  She found a spell for invisibility and decided to download it to her laptop.  She decided not to try it now, but maybe later it could come in handy for something.  After all she did live on the Hellmouth.

Willow knew Xander would want to go to the bronze that night.  Maybe Angel would be there tonight.  Willow couldn't help but have thoughts of Angel after the kiss they shared the night before.  She had never felt that way before when Oz or Xander had kissed her.  When Angel kissed her she felt it go all the way through her body like lightening.  She wondered if Angel had felt it too.  She decided to dress with care for the Bronze just in case Angel showed.  <What am I thinking?  Angel belongs to Buffy, but then again Buffy isn't here is she?>

Later at the Bronze

Xander, Willow and Amy were sitting at the regular table when a favorite song came up.  Xander and Amy went to go dance, which left Willow sitting all alone.  Angel had come in without anyone noticing him.  After Xander and Amy had gone, he approached the table.

"Willow, how are you?"

"Angel, I'm good.  How are you?"  <God could I sound any lamer?>

She looked down at the table afraid to look Angel in the eyes for fear of what she may or may not see.  He noticed she was afraid to look at him and decided to put an end to that, especially after that kiss they had shared the night before.  Angel had never really noticed her before that.  He only ever saw her as Buffy's best friend.  A slow song started to play.  <Perfect>

"Do you want to dance with me Willow?"

Willow looked up at Angel with a stunned expression on her face.  Angel almost laughed at the look, but managed not to.

"S-Sure, but why?  You never dance?"

"I dance, just not very often."  As an after thought he added, "There was never anyone I wanted to dance with."

"But, what about Buffy?"

"Buffy never needed me to dance with her."

Angel grabbed Willow's hand and led her out onto the dance floor.  When they got there Angel pulled her into his arm.  Willow still had her head down and her arms pulled into her chest.  Angel tipped her chin up  so he could look into her eyes.

"Put your arms around my neck Willow."

Willow had the deer in headlights look on her face, but she slowly put her arms around his neck.  Angel pulled her close so they had full body contact.  <ohgodohgodohgodohgod>  Willow was in pure heaven.  She never felt this way when Oz had danced with her or pulled her into his arms.  Angel studied her face wondering what she was thinking.  As he did her face started to flush, becoming a shade of pink.  Willow looked back down toward Angel's chest.  Angel couldn't help it; his body started to react to Willow's body with the slow swaying, her heart picking up, along with the rise in her body temperature.  Angel got an erection.  Willow felt this against her stomach and her eyes shot to Angel's.

"Feel what you do to me Willow?"

Willow just stared at Angel with an amazed expression on her face.

"Do you want to leave?"

Willow could only nod her head in agreement.  They left the dance floor and went to the table so Willow could grab her things.  Xander and Amy had come back to the table so Willow told them that Angel was going to walk her home.  After they exited the Bronze, Angel grabbed Willow's hand in his.  She shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"No, not really."

Angel pulled her closer and put his arm around her.

"Do you want to go to your house or mine?"

"We can go to your house if you want."

Angel agreed and they walked to his new apartment.  It was closer to the Bronze.  After the Angelus thing Angel felt he needed to have a new place.  His old apartment held too many memories of his night with Buffy and the mansion for the obvious reason.  They walked on without talking.  It was not uncomfortable though.  Both felt comfortable with each other and words were not needed to fill in the silence.  When they arrived at Angel's place, Angel ushered her in and invited her to have a seat.

"Do you want anything to drink?  I don't have to much to offer, but I have bottled water, juice, and Kool-Aid."

When Angel said he had some Kool-Aid, Willow looked at him.

"What I like Kool-Aid."

"Um, Kool-Aid would be good."

Angel went to the kitchen, poured Willow a glass and grabbed himself a bag of blood to feed on.  Willow had sat down at the end of the couch.  Angel sat in the middle of the couch when he came from the kitchen.  Willow was starting to get a little nervous.  Angel noticed and got up to put a CD in his system.  He chose something that was soft and played all slow, and  then turned to Willow.

"Would you like to dance some more?"

"Um, okay."

Willow got up and walked over to Angel.  He pulled her into his arms again.  She put her arms around his neck.  He slowly ran his hands up and down her back.  His hand settled on the curve of her buttocks.  Willow was in heaven and didn't want the night to end.  She was looking into his eyes when he started to lower his head down to hers.  He gave her time to back out if she wanted to.  Willow could just stand there pressed against his body as she again anticipated the feel of his lips on hers.

"Willow we will only go as far as you want.  We can stop at any time.  All you have to say is stop."

Then he lowered his head all of the way and kissed her so softly and sweetly.  Willow moaned again at the feel of his lips on hers.  They felt so cool, but also so right.  More right than anyone else's had ever felt.  He deepened the kiss and Willow pressed her body more tightly to his body.  If she could have crawled inside of him it wouldn't have been close enough.  Willow was breathing very heavily when Angel broke off the kiss and trailed his lips down her jaw to her neck.  Willow tipped her head to the side to give him better access to her neck.  It was Angel's turn to moan.  He was suckling on her pulse point and he could feel her heart racing, pushing the blood through her veins.  Willow had pulled Angel's shirt from his pants and was rubbing her hands up and down his back.  He was in heaven.  He couldn't believe the passion that she was showing.  He trailed his lips up her neck to her jaw and back to her lips.

Angel danced over to the couch and sat down.  He pulled Willow onto his lap facing him.  She ground her pelvis down on him, causing him to thrust up to her crotch and moan low and deep in his throat.  Willow looked up at him and started to unbutton his shirt.  She brought her lips to each area she uncovered.  Again Angel moaned and thrust up into Willow.  She started to slowly rotate her hips down on his erection.  After she got his shirt unbuttoned and pulled off, Angel pulled her shirt over her head.  Angel brought her breasts together with his hands and brought his head down to them, suckling her through her bra.  Her nipples were rock hard and aching.  She really thought she would die.  After all this was ANGEL.

"Are you okay?  Do you want to stop?"

"No, don't stop."   Was her breathy response.

"Let's go to the bedroom Willow, so we can get more comfortable."


Angel stood with Willow still in his arms.  She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck.  She was pressed against a shirtless Angel and moaned.  He just gave a small smirky grin.  Willow buried her face in his neck and started to kiss and nibble.  He trembled in her arms.  It was now her turn to smirk up at him.  When they reached Angel's bedroom he slowly lowered her to her feet, sliding her down his body.  Willow felt as if she had been electrified.  Angel hissed and gave a growl.  He undressed her and then himself.  Willow couldn't take her eyes off of him.  He was beautiful, and she had never seen a naked man before.  She longed to run her hands all over his body, but was still unsure of herself.  Angel lowered her onto the king size bed with black satin sheets.  The sheets felt cool against Willow's heated skin.  Soon she felt the coolness of Angel's body.  He lowered himself so he was pressed to her side.  He gently cup her breast and brought his mouth to the nipple.  Willow made a keening noise upon contact.   He withdrew his mouth and she made a sound of protest to only moan as his mouth closed over her other nipple.  Angel withdrew again and pulled slightly away from her.

"Touch me."

Willow just looked at him, not sure what to do.  He could see she was uncertain of how to touch him.

"Anyway that you touch me will cause me to have pleasure.  Just please, touch me."

Willow gave him a tremulous smile and started to run her fingertips down his back and brought them slowly up his rib cage.  He moaned and trembled at her touch.  He lowered his head again to her breast and began to slowly, with feather light kisses, kiss his way down her body.  Willow was shaking with need, but she didn't know how to appease it with another person.  Sure she had masturbated and touched herself with thoughts of Angel on her mind, but nothing in real life had prepared her for the intense sensations running through her body.  She was sure she was going to melt into a pile of goo.

Angel was placing soft kisses around her belly button and running his tongue inside of it.  Willow shivered with the pleasure he was giving her.  Angel brought his eyes up to her face and smiled.  Willow was running her fingertips through his hair.  Angel continued to kiss down past her stomach to her outer thighs.  Willow moaned and thrashed her head.  Angel placed his hands between her knees and was slowly pulling them apart.  Willow gave him some resistance, but not much.  This was Angel and he would never hurt her or cause her any pains intentionally.

Angel settled between her legs on his stomach.  His erection was painful and he couldn't help but press it into the bed to give himself some much needed friction.  Angel slowly ran his hands up the inside of Willow's thighs.

"You feel so soft and your skin is so smooth."

Angel lowered his head and placed a gentle kiss to the area above her pubic hair line.

"You smell so good."

Angel kissed his way down further and Willow moaned out her excitement.  He slowly touched his tongue and gave her a slow lick to the outer lips of her vagina.  Willow bucked her hips up into his face in her surprise.  Angel placed his hand on her stomach to hold her in place.  He did it again, but pushed in between her warm, moist lips.  Willow bent her knees and raised her hips up a little higher.  She wanted something, but she wasn't to sure what it was she was after.  She just knew what he was doing to her felt wonderful.

Angel took advantage of her new position.  He pulled back on her lips and gave her clit a flick with his tongue.  Willow was dripping with arousal juices.  Angel started to slowly kiss and suck his way around her clit, being careful to not touch it again.  He stroked his tongue from her anus to her vagina.  Slowly he inserted his tongue into her vagina and fucked her with his tongue.  Willow was going out of her mind with want and need.

"Please, please, please."  Willow chanted this over and over in a panting voice.

"Please what Willow, tell me what you need?"

"I-I don't know."  She panted again.

Angel took pity on her and sucked her clit into his mouth hard.  At the same time he put his finger into her.  Willow rocked her hips into his hand and face.  She was beside herself with want.  She was moaning continuously.  Angel placed a second finger into her.  <God is she tight he thought.>  Willow flew apart.  Angel prolonged her orgasm by flicking her clit and then pressing down on it with his tongue.  When she was coming down from her unearthly high, Angel was lying beside her on the bed, his head on the same pillow.

Willow turned her head and smiled at him.

"That was..WOW."  She told him.  Angel just smiled at her.

"There is more where that came from."  Angel thrust his cock into Willow's side.  She gasped at the contact.

"What can I do to give you as much pleasure as you just gave me?"  asked Willow.

Angel rolled over onto his back and grabbed her hand.  He placed it on his chest and gave her a small smile saying, "Touch any way you feel comfortable with."

Willow rolled over onto her side and started to slide her hand over his chest in small circles.  She slowly trailed her hand up to his head to turn his face toward her.  Slowly she leaned in and kissed him on the lips.  She thrust her tongue in between his lips and stroked the inside of his mouth.  Angel kissed her back with a passion that was long denied to him.

Willow broke the kiss off and trailed her lips down his jaw to his throat.  Angel tipped his head back to give her better access to his neck.  When she hit his jugular he gave a low purring noise.  She drew her head back in surprise.  Angel pulled her head back in, letting her know to continue what she was doing to him.  She was really getting into what she was doing and without thinking about it, she bit down hard.  Angel jerked in surprise.  Thinking that she hurt him, Willow started to apologize.

"I'm sorry Angel.  I didn't mean to bite so hard."

"Willow you didn't do anything wrong.  You just surprised me.  I felt good to me."

Willow moved closer to him and started to kiss her way down to his chest.  She took a nipple into her mouth and laved it with her tongue.  Angel moaned out again.  Willow couldn't believe that she got Angel to moan and purr.  She figured she had to be doing something right.  She moved over to his other nipple and gave it the same treatment as the other one had gotten.  Again she was getting into what she was doing and started to nibble on his nipple.  Angel clutched her head to his nipple and gave a low growl in his throat.

Willow giggled and decided to she what else she could do that would give him pleasure.  Willow followed Angel's example and kissed her way down his stomach to his belly button and ran her tongue inside.  She had never realized how sensitive and erotic it could be to have your belly button tongued.  She continued down his body and stopped.  Angel raised his head up and looked at her.

"What's wrong?"

"It's so big.  I don't think I can get that in my mouth, let alone inside of me!"

"Willow you don't have to take me in your mouth if you don't want to."

"I know, but when you did that to me it felt really great and I want you to feel the same thing."

With that said she lowered her head and licked the juices off of the head of his cock.  Angel jerked his hips upward and moaned.  Willow grabbed a hold of his cock with her hands and looked up at Angel.  Angel could see the question in her eyes and brought his hand down over hers.  He started to slowly work there entwined hands and fingers up and down his cock in a slow, steady rhythm.  When she got the hang of how to do, Angel pulled his hand away.  Willow lowered her mouth back down to his cock and sucked the head into her mouth while continuing to stroke him as he had taught her.  Angel's hands had become entangled in the sheets when she lowered her mouth to prevent himself from grabbing her hand and thrusting his cock down her throat.  When he couldn't stand it anymore he reached down and lifted her mouth from his cock.  Willow gave him a questioning look.

"I want to be in you when I come."

Angel pulled her up beside him on the pillow and rolled her to face him.  He was kissing her and running his hands down her body to her crotch.  He inserted a finger and was thrusting in and out of her.  Willow started to rock her hips into him.  When Angel thought she was ready her rolled her over to her back and settled again between her legs.  Angel raised her knees up pulled himself up further on the bed so the head of his cock was resting at her opening.  Angel leaned down and sucked a nipple into his mouth and began sucking on it.  He had a finger thrusting in and out.  Willow was almost to the point of coming again.  Angel felt her walls starting to convulse around his fingers so he withdrew them out.  Willow moaned in protest.  Angel gave her a deep kiss.

Taking his cock in hand, he placed it at her opening and slowly thrust into her until he reached her virginal barrier.  Willow tensed up when he hit the barrier.  Angel had stopped moving to let her adjust to him being inside of her.  Willow looked up at Angel and gave him a small smile with a nod of her head.  Angel leaned down and kissed her again and thrust all the way into her.  Willow raked her nails down his back, drawing blood.

Angel sucked in unneeded air.  Willow moaned deep in her throat at the pain.  Angel didn't move, but continued to kiss her.  He was in paradise she was so warm and tight.  All he wanted to do was get lost inside of her.  After a moment, she started to move her hips.  Angel met her thrust with his own.  Willow closed her eyes as the sensations again overwhelmed her.

"Open your eyes."  said Angel.

Willow looked up at Angel's eyes.  They spoke to her of love, passion, and a desperate need to belong.  Willow lifted her lips up to his.  Acknowledging and accepting him.  Angel couldn't wait much longer.  He brought his hand in between them and pinched her clit between his finger and thumb.

"Come for me Willow."  Angel whispered this to her in her ear.  Willow was beside herself with pleasure.  It flowed to every part of her body, but the most intense of this feeling centered where they were connected.  Angel could feel her walls convulsing and thrust harder and faster into her.  He ground their hips together, causing her clit to have the needed friction to push her over the edge into orgasm.  Willow screamed out Angel's name.  Angel thrust into one more time and came in hard fast bursts into her warmth.

Angel rested for a moment on top of her, to tired to move.  Willow had her arms wrapped around him.  Angel moved to her side, taking her with him.  He gave her a kiss that took her breathe away.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I feel great.  I never knew it could be like that."  she said.

Angel rested down and grabbed to blankets that had been pushed to the end of the bed.

"Stay with me?"  he asked.

"Forever if you want."

Angel pulled her close and kissed her.  Together they fell to sleep with the assurance that both of them were loved and would never have to be alone again till the end of time.