Disclaimer:  I do not own any characters related to 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer,' that honor goes to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
 


Hope
By: Jane and Octavia

Dear God in Heaven, I am on my knees before you, to ask, to plead, to beg that you hear my prayer.

Iím scared to step in....scared to see what I dread...scared to know my nightmares have become a reality.

I went to her apartment an hour ago and found it empty. After half hour of pounding and receiving no answer, I broke down the door....I have never told anyone...but Iím not very patient... it is part of my selfiness I assume. I was devasted to see the apartment alone and wouldnít help but snoop for a moment.....as I waited for her of course....it has been so many years since I have seen her...known
her....loved her.

As I looked through her apartment I wondered if she still liked to paint...it had been a passion of hers once..... or if she continued to perfect her chess game.... or if she still liked to sit in front of a roaring fire and read, wrapped up in a blanket.....or if she still looked up in the sky and pointed to the star we had named together every night.... or if she still curled up in bed to sleep.......

I couldnít help the tears that fell....it had been such a long time since I had let the feelings of loss consume me .......

She never returned to her apartment...... I waited, but she never came....... All that was out of place was an old dusty envelope that was left in the center table......

I never found her wedding dress....perhaps I had been too late...perhaps she had never gone back....perhaps once more she had left... or perhaps she was beyond these doors.

I stand before the crossroads that will choose my life......

        ...........I must do what I must do........
                ......as I finally push open the doors to my future.
 

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