Willow pulled away from Angel and looked into his dark eyes.
"Let's go to my house....we need to talk, and I don't think this is the best place." she said gesturing around the alley they were in.
He closed his eyes and nodded. "You're right....Talk..."
They got into Willow's car and made it to her house in no time. She couldn't believe that she and Angel had just had sex...in an alley....on a car....in public. Anyone could have walked by. She knew she had not been very quiet. Buffy could have walked by....(Oh Goddess, what did we do?)
Angel sat and watched Willow's face. Her thoughts clearly written on her features. She was feeling guilty. He wanted to know why. He followed her into the apartment before claiming her mouth in a bruising kiss, punishing her for what he knew she would say.
Willow let herself be drawn into his kiss, before seeing Buffy's face in her mind. She pulled back and put her hand on his hard chest. "No....we need to talk."
She moved away from him and sat on the couch. "We can't do this." she said quietly.
"Why?" he demanded.
"Buffy! Remember her? The love of your unlife? Blonde, about this tall, likes short skirts....the girl you are madly in love with who still loves you? My best friend."
"I don't love Buffy." Angel said.
"Puh-leez.....You don't have to lie to me. I thought we were friends."
"We are. I'm not lieing. I was in love with her, in the beginning. Lust,
love...it was all there. After I lost my soul, it was replaced with affection
and friendship. Hell, we were never able to even get the
friendship part down. She felt the same way, if she would admit it. You are the one I love."
"No." Willow said, shaking her head.
Angel went to her and kneeled, taking her face in her hands.
"Yes. I. Love. You. Willow. I love your smile...your laugh...your babbling...your mind....you amaze me. It took me awhile, but I can admit that to myself and to you. I think a chance at life with you is worth that. What about you? Was I a stand in for Oz? Just some lucky guy you decided to fuck for fun? I need to know."
Willow looked into his eyes and saw the honesty of what he had said. Taking a deep breath, she said, "It's not that way. I got a crush on you when I first saw you. After you saved me, it sort of took off from there. I tried to forget. Oz made me happy, but he wasn't you. The only way that I could be with him was to close my eyes and think of you. I felt so guilty. I had to stop making love with him. I kept thinking that he knew somehow. It was what finally ended our relationship. When you left Sunnydale, I thought I might die. It was like I lost a part of myself. When I saw you in that alley tonight, I felt like I was finally found. Have no doubts, my Angel. I love you."
Angel felt such joy at her words. "We will worry about Buffy and the others later. We need to do this. I don't want to lose this feeling. I doubt you do either."
"I don't....but I don't know. Buffy will be so hurt...Xander will hate me...and Giles? Oh geesh...I can imagine...."
"Willow....this is worth the risk." Angel said quietly.
"I know. I won't worry about it right now."
"Good." Angel said smiling, "Why don't I make sure of that?" he said, kissing her neck.
She smiled. "The bedroom is that way. It should be a bit warmed than that car was...."
He picked her up and carried her into the bedroom, kicking the door
shut behind them. The future would have to take care of itself.