Willow Rosenberg stood in the moonlight, looking at the soft glow of night from the window. Taking another deep breath of the crisp night air, she reminded herself that this decision was not a rash one or taken lightly. She'd considered the facts, considered her options, made a list, checked it twice. This was the (almost) sane way to proceed and she'd been planning this for three weeks. She just hoped her proposal wouldn't fall on deaf ears. And, please God, if you're listening, don't let anyone else find out, no matter what happens.
She walked slowly through the front door, looking around at the gothic setting. The place never failed to amaze her, even when she had been terrified. She gazed around the room. Darn! He wasn't here. What now??
Here thoughts on plan
B were never formed. Angel strolled into the room reading a book.
She could make out the title in the firelight. Great, Madame Bovary.
Willow hoped this wasn't an omen of things to come. Angel was so engrossed
in the novel that he hadn't noticed her. She shifted the backpack
off of her shoulder. Angel looked up with a start, muscles tensing,
ready to fight if necessary.
"Angel, I, um, ...Nice to see you, place looks great. 'Bye now." Willow turned to run out the door. Angel, moving with catlike speed & grace, ran over and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Willow, what is it? Is something wrong with Buffy?" Angel turned her around slowly.
Willow spoke, her breath catching in her throat, "Buffy? No, Buffy's great. She and the gang, not me of course, are at the Bronze.
"Oh, okay." He paused. "What can I do for you, then?"
"I need to talk to you about something, and I need a favour, a BIG one."
Angel smiled, "Willow,
you gave me back my life. Name the favour."
They had been sitting
on the couch for a half-hour; Willow babbling on about her favourite techno-pagan
sites and a home page she was working on. Angel was trying to follow,
but he wasn't quite grasping what she
wanted of him. He could sense her nervousness, her body language skittering back & forth from timidity, to confidence, to something almost...
Finally, he gave an exasperated sigh.
"Willow, I think you've got some great ideas, but I'm not getting what it is you need from me. I'm not overly computer literate, you know."
Willow looked down at her hands, not daring to look Angel in the eyes. What if he said no? Worse, what if he laughed at her.
Knowing it was now or never, Willow plunged ahead, "I'm just nervous. It doesn't have to do with computers; it has to do with me. And Oz...and Xander."
Angel nodded, believing he finally understood. "Willow, you knew you'd have to make a decision soon. I'm just surprised you're talking to me about this and not Buffy."
Willow gave him an almost horrified look, "No! I'd never talk to Buffy about this, and you can't either."
"You know she's going to figure it out once you pick your favourite flavour."
"Yeah, well, I don't think so. I'm picking Angel flavour. I need you to, um, to,... to go to bed with me. Tonight...please." No need to forget one's manners in the middle of making a fool of one's self.
She glanced up at Angel from beneath lowered lashes. His stunned expression revealed that in centuries of living (unliving?), he hadn't quite heard it all.
"Willow... I, well, I'm honoured, I think. But what about Oz, or Xander for that matter? What's going on?"
Willow finally raised her head to look at him. He hadn't said no. He hadn't said yes either, but there was no laughing involved. This was a good thing.
She paused, breathed deeply, and continued, "I know that this is major weirdness for you, and I know you love Buffy and I don't love you and you don't love me."
Angel shook his head. "Willow, I'm flattered, I mean really flattered, but I don't understand why you want to do this, at least not why you want to do this with me."
Willow's eyes flashed. "I'll tell you why. I am NOT my virginity. I am a grown, well almost grown, woman, I am intelligent, I am funny, I am not too bad to look at and I won't be fought over like a, like, uh, a steak bone by two dogs."
Angel chuckled. "So you think you're the jackpot in a game between Oz and Xander? Pretty great prize, but I wasn't aware I'd placed a bet."
"Angel, please try
to understand. I love them both. I really do. I don't know
how I can possibly choose. If I give it up to one, then the other
will be gone. I can't do that. Oz was the first boy to ever
make me feel attractive. And Xander... I've loved Xander for what seems
like my entire life. And you know what, I'm not going to let either of
them have my virginity. I know they both care for me, I just need to know they want me for some other reason than they get to go first."
He watched her closely as she spoke to him. Her face was flushed, with excitement and a touch of anger. He'd not paid any attention to how she was dressed when she'd first arrived. Now he did. It was not the usual Willow outfit. A long burgundy wrap around skirt and a cream coloured silk blouse with pearl buttons running down the length, disappearing into the skirt. The buttons were undone enough for him to see the faintest hint of cleavage. Something inside him stirred.
"I know I said to name your favour, but I never expected this to be what you wanted. Willow, sex is a powerful thing. It can literally change people. Being the first time, emotions can overwhelm. Sex is an intimate act."
Willow hurried to assure him, "But, you won't lose your soul again. You don't love me. Even if you did get a little wacky after, you couldn't be completely content unless it was Buffy. This is not a problem."
He replied, barely able to control his soft laughter, "Willow, I was talking about you. Sex, for a woman, can leave her with deep feelings she might not have had before. I wouldn't want you to be hurt. Not emotionally. You have to know that I'm not and won't be romantically involved with you."
"Angel, I have more romantic involvement than I can handle right now."
Willow knew he'd get around to asking that question. "Well, there's the obvious. You are extremely..." She knew she was blushing, could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. "You're beautiful." She paused. "And I know you've done this before. I mean, with virgins."
Angel grinned at her. "That can't be the only reason."
"Losing your virginity is something you remember for your entire life. I want it to be special. Making love with a vampire is pretty unique. And I like the idea of the memory. After I'm old, dead even, you'll remember my first time for me."
He sighed, and began
"That's beautiful, Angel."
"Yeats. A fellow Irishman. Met him once, briefly, a very long time ago. There's more to the poem. I'll tell you later."
She looked at him, eyes full of amazement, thinking of the places he'd been, the people he'd met. (And killed...eep.)
Leaning closer to her, he spoke, almost brushing her lips, but not quite. "I'm going to kiss you now, Willow. Let's start there and see if you really want to go further."
He touched her lips with his own, gently. Willow's heart was beating so loudly she was sure that he must hear it. He did. He intensified the kiss, applying more pressure, not too much, and smoothly darted his tongue in her mouth, flicking gently at her own. Willow felt dizzy, almost intoxicated. This was good, very good.
Angel broke the kiss. Willow realised that only their mouths had touched. Why had her entire body felt as if it had been scalded? Opening her eyes, she looked at him with intent and intensity. She leaned forward, placing her hand around his neck and bringing him down for another kiss.
Angel felt as if a jolt of electricity had went through him when she touched him. It had been so long, so long. He knew that he would have her, had to have her. He pulled back from her.
"I need to go out,"
Willow interrupted, "But, I thought, I mean, didn't you... was it bad?"
"God, no! Don't think that. I need to pick up a few things... if you're going to stay." He paused. "What about your parents?"
"I'm not here. I'm in San Diego for a software convention. I won't be back for two days, but don't worry, I'll call if there's a problem."
Willow blushed, "I thought maybe we could just hang tomorrow. Maybe you could tell me about your life. The non-bloody, demonic parts."
"I could do that. Okay, I'm going out. I'll be gone one hour. Willow... you can change your mind while I'm gone. I won't be angry, and I won't ever mention this again. You just need to be sure. Okay?"
Before he had heard her answer, he was gone.
Angel walked back into the room. If it weren't for his enhanced sense of smell he would have thought she wasn't there. She was lying on the sofa, thumbing through his book.
"I hope you didn't lose my place."
Willow jumped. She knew he was due back, but had not heard him enter. She had thought of leaving almost the entire time he had been gone. She had told herself, moment to moment that she could leave. She did not have to do this. She could go home back to her life, nothing changed. She did not have to do this. But there was also that memory of the kiss. It wasn't just that the virginity matter would be settled. She wanted.
"Nope. I saved your place."
His eyes darkened. "So I'm still first in line."
"Oh, I thought you meant..."
Angel gently caressed her hair with his hand. "It's okay, I'm only teasing. You haven't changed your mind, have you?"
"I'm still here, aren't I?"
Angel smiled and pulled a bottle of wine and two glasses from behind his back.
"Just one glass. I want you relaxed, not sick. I'll drink a glass with you."
"That's very thoughtful. You know I'm too young to drink."
"Willow, if you are old enough to do what we're going to be doing within the hour, you're old enough for a glass of wine."
With those words, Willow felt a tightening in her abdomen and a flush seemed to run the entire length of her body. She silently accepted the glass of wine.
They sat in silence as Willow sipped her drink. Angel barely touched his. He watched her every move. He was slightly ashamed of his predatory instincts that delighted in her nervousness. He also knew that their act would go a long way to restoring the humanity he had lost in Hell. She'd finished the wine.
"Willow, do you want to go into the bedroom?"
She gulped, "I actually kind of like the fireplace."
Angel nodded and slid close to her on the couch. He placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her. Not so gentle this time. His mouth moved over hers with purpose, drawing her tongue into his mouth and sucking. The tightening in Willow's abdomen intensified. She brought her hands to his chest and began to unbutton his shirt. There was no way she wasn't going to get her hands on that chest.
Her aggressive move
surprised Angel. He liked it. He felt himself start to harden as
she ran her hands over his stomach. Tearing his mouth away from hers,
he kissed his way down to her neck. She stiffened, then relaxed,
as he continued on, unbuttoning her shirt and revealing her creamy shoulders.
He proceeding to cover them with
kisses. The fact that she was wearing a lace bra did not go unnoticed or unappreciated. White, very appropriate. Angel stood, pulling her with him.
"I want you to undress for me, Willow. Take off your blouse and skirt."
Willow was embarrassed. She'd thought he would do that for her. It was bad enough changing for gym. She'd never undressed for a man. She felt he was testing her. Willow had never failed a test. Looking directly into his eyes, she began unbuttoning her shirt. The look he gave her let her know she was getting an "A" again.
Angel was grateful. He had been afraid she would deny his request. If she couldn't bring herself to undress for him, he had doubted that she would be able to have sex. He began to pull his own shirt off, tossing it on to the sofa. He finished removing his jeans as her skirt fell in soft folds around her ankles.
Willow stared at him. He didn't wear underwear. He was naked and standing three feet in front of her. His penis was big. Very big. At least she thought it was, not really having anything to compare it with. Yep, big. And hard.
He watched her scan
his body. Raising his arms slightly, he turned slowly around.
Willow's eyes moved up the length of him, and after a brief pause midway,
stopped at the tattoo on his shoulder. God, he was gorgeous. Emboldened
by the fact that he was no longer staring at her, she stepped out of her
skirt and moved toward him. She smoothed her hands over his taut butt,
then ran her fingers over his well-muscled back. Angel reached behind,
grasped her hips, and pulled her full against his body. He could
feel her breasts pushing against him.
Willow reached around, caressing his abdomen, and rested her head against him. They stood this way for several moments before Angel broke the embrace and turned to face her.
Angel pushed the satin straps off of her shoulder one at a time. He put his arms around her, unhooked her bra, and pulled it off of her body.
"Beautiful", was all he could manage to choke out.
Willow gave a little sigh. She'd always thought it should be shape and not size that counted, but was glad of the confirmation.
Bending over, he placed
kisses on her neck, her shoulders and moved down to her breasts. Right,
then left, each in turn, Angel drew the nipples into his mouth, flicking
his tongue around the sensitive tips. Willow shuddered. Taking this
for a sign to continue, he knelt and kissed his way down to the edge of
her panties. With one quick
movement, he pulled them down her body. He leaned into her, swirling his tongue around her belly button. Angel placed one hand on her bottom, the other on the silky red hair between her legs. He started
to massage with both.
Willow tilted her head
back, and, for once in her life, gave in to her desires. Angel was touching
her, running his fingers between her folds, rubbing her clitoris with his
thumb. Oh, God, now she knew what all the fuss
Angel slowed his movements and stood up. He kissed her, mouth open, his tongue searching out hers. He was holding her so tight; she found it hard to breathe. He allowed her to slightly push him away.
"Angel... I need to breathe, you know."
"I know, little one. I think we're ready for the bedroom. One question, though."
Angel hesitated briefly. "Willow, have you ever had an orgasm before?"
Willow blushed deep red. " W-What? I... You know I'm a virgin."
Angel cocked an eyebrow; "You can have an orgasm without having a partner, Willow."
"Oh...OH! I see, um, well...in that case...oh, geeze, I'm 17 years old, what do you think?"
Angel smiled. "Good. It will be easier for you to have one with me this first time." He reached out to touch her cheek. "I'm glad you have a healthy appetite."
Placing his hand on the small of her back he guided her into the bedroom.
There were several candles sitting around the bedroom. Their light cast flickering shadows on the walls. Willow realised Angel must have arrived back earlier than she had thought him to.
Angel led Willow over
to the bed, gently pushing her down on to the soft comforter. He lay down
beside her. Willow reached out and started running her hands over
his chest, skirted his cock, and cupped his balls.
Angel moaned softly. She was surprised, even that part of him was cold. She bent, and took the tip of him in her mouth, running her tongue around the sensitive tip of his cock. His hand gripped her shoulder. Taking this as a good sign she opened her mouth wider and took in all of him that she could. Willow moved her head up and down, stroking him with her tongue.
Angel couldn't believe his good fortune, but knew he should stop her before it went too far. Taking her chin, he raised her head, kissed her mouth. He positioned his face between her legs and started kissing and licking what had once been her private parts. He was elated she was sharing them now.
Willow gasped, slightly appalled at what he was doing. He held her hips firmly and continued his pleasurable invasion. She finally relaxed, enjoying the feel of his slightly rough tongue as he lapped at her. He finally stopped and she let out a small sound of protest. She had been so close!
"Don't worry, Willow. I'll take you where you're needing to go."
Angel moved above her. He kissed her nose, eyes, cheeks, forehead, finally her lips.
"Look at me, Willow."
Willow opened her eyes. He entered her slowly, wanting to make his intrusion as gentle as possible. Willow winced. He thrust his hips forward, irrevocably changing that part of her. Willow cried out. It hurt, it really hurt. A tear spilled over and down her cheek.
Angel pulled out of her and leaned over to one side.
"You're not a virgin anymore. You have what you came for. I know it hurt, Willow. It won't be easy, or comfortable, but I think I can stop if you need me to."
Willow looked at him, surprised. The sharp pain was fading, replaced by the former ache. She didn't want to stop, not now. She wanted more.
Angel was awash in a myriad of emotions. He could smell the scent of her, the fear, the blood, the wanting. He prayed she'd want to continue. He feared he might take her even if she didn't want to.
"Please, Angel. Don't...I need you."
With relief, he took
her hand and placed it between her legs. He rotated her finger inside
of her. Pulling her hand to his mouth, Angel sucked on that finger,
tasting the blood she would shed only once. His face started to change,
almost. Willow watched him, slightly nauseous, but mostly incredibly
turned on. That act was the most
sensual thing she'd ever witnessed.
He entered her again. The pain was still there, but fading. Angel started moving inside her slowly, watching her face for hesitation. There was none. She pulled his mouth to hers, at the same time raising her hips to allow him better access. The friction was exquisite. Her tight walls were caressing him, driving him crazy with lust.
Willow couldn't believe this feeling. It was wonderful. Angel was sliding in and out of her, rotating his hips. Something was building inside of her. Something so fierce that she felt she'd die if it didn't happen soon.
Her hands were clenching and unclenching the sheets. Angel moved slightly, grasping her hands with his, giving her something tangible to hold on to. He was possessing her. Willow was making a noise, a soft pitched keening. Angel sped his rhythm.
Her breathing coming in ragged gasps, Willow knew she was making a strange sound. She couldn't stop herself. The experience was too intense. Waves of pleasure built, and with a small incoherent shout, Willow came. She dug her nails into Angel's hands, holding on for dear life, until the acute sensation ebbed. He watched her, relishing her passion, her fulfilment. It made his own urgency grow to an almost unbearable level.
With her orgasm subsiding, Angel allowed himself his own satisfaction. With a low groan, he came with feverish delight, spilling his seed inside of her still throbbing hole.
Angel lay lightly on
top of Willow. She enjoyed the feel of his body on top of her, inside of
her. She smiled, contented. Raising on his elbows, he kissed
her gently and began to speak.
Angel could sense her apprehension, and eased her mind, "Willow, I do love you. You gave me back my soul, gave me another chance for redemption. You've made me feel real again. I'm not in love with you, I just love you. You are sweet, good, pure of heart," He chuckled. "Maybe not so pure of deed, anymore."
"Like a friend, Angel?"
"Yes, Willow, like a friend. A very intimate friend, but a friend."
"Good. I'm glad. I love you that way too Angel. Thank you... for everything I mean. I couldn't have asked for a better first time."
"You're extremely welcome."
Angel rolled over on his back, pulling her on top of him, wrapping him in her arms. They stayed that way.
Angel asked, "So, now that you don't have to choose between the two of them, who's next, Wolf-boy or the mortal?"
Willow giggled and answered sleepily, "Vampires and werewolves and mortals... oh my! Vampires and werewolves and mortals...oh, my!"
"Alright, Dorothy, you don't have to answer me if you don't want to."
Angel could tell she was smiling as she finally answered.
"You know, I do want to hear about the places you've been and things you've seen. But two days is a long time. Maybe you can be next one more time."
Angel grinned, "Or two times."
Willow yawned, almost drifting off to sleep. "Or three, three is a good number. I've always been partial to number six though."