DISCLAIMER: Buffy The Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox.  The author isn't getting paid for any of the story.

by Darly & Eliz H

  Journal of Willow Rosenburg 11/25/99
  After being kidnapped by Spike a few weeks back, I realize I am destined to embrace the full power of the goddess, to whom I pray for power. I have decided to become a full fledged wiccan, this of course is being done
without the knowledge of my friends, it pains me to do this but, I feel I must if I want to survive on the Hellmouth.
 Survival has a new meaning for me.  Before, it was just staying alive until Buffy came to my rescue. Now it's staying alive and beating the meanies by myself. I don't wanna be a burden for Buffy any longer, she's my best friend and having friends that can get hurt hinders her ability to kick meanie ass.
 Which is why I am graduating early, in late December. After I graduate I will start self defense classes, I have already started to awaken my dormant wiccan abilities. By this time next year, I will be able to kick some major bad guy ass. Maybe even sooner.
 I am not the same Willow everyone knew. I have changed since Spike kidnapped me, I have grown both inside and out. I now go by the nickname Red, thanks to Spike.  After I think I am prepared, I will pay back Spike for kidnapping me and then thank him for helping me see the real me.
 Spike, however, will be in too much pain to acknowledge anything, although I will not dust him, he's so funny to be around, with his British accent and his bloody this and bloody that.  Plus, I owe him a great deal of thanks. Well, I'm late for my self defense classes.  Write some more later.
 Things Change,
This journal entry takes place a week after the mayor ascension is foiled.
 I have survived the Ascension, as have all my friends. We are all a little worse for wear, but, all and all, fine. Tomorrow I reveal myself to Buffy, Xander, Giles. I will do it while at the library. Oz already knows because I told him.  Although I broke up with him, as I have changed, he has become one of my best friends.  He knows I am still Willow -- just a braver stronger version.
Oz left on tour for San Francisco yesterday, but bid me good luck in telling the gang. Angel left Sunnydale, bound for LA, but before he left he told me to look him up if I was ever in town. I think he sensed my witch power
getting stronger. He gave me his phone number and address, then told me good luck in my new world and before I could answer, he was gone into the night among the shadows. I am scared of their reaction, but I am confident they will understand.
  Part One
  < I'm running late, > Willow thought, as she put on her clothes to meet the gang in the library. She was wearing a lime green tank-top with a black miniskirt and her new go-go boots. When she looked at herself in the mirror
she thought of her evil vampire self and smiled with pleasure.
 Willow was ready and still had fifteen minutes to spare. On her way downstairs, she grabbed her purse and car keys from the counter and was out the door, running towards the baby blue Mustang convertible she got from her parents  for graduating first in her class. She started her car and was driving to the library at full speed.
 As she parked her car in the high school parking lot and looked at the time, she was there with three minutes to spare. She grabbed her purse and keys, straightened her hair and makeup a little, then ran all the way to the
library for her seven o'clock p.m. meeting with the gang. As she looked through the library door windows, she saw everyone there already, and she was glad she would only have to explain it once.
 She opened the doors and found herself being stared at by everyone in the room, which was not how she had planned it. As she started to speak, Buffy grabbed her, while Xander and Giles opened the book cage. Before any thing could be done, she found herself being locked up like some kind of animal in this cage.
 "What's wrong with Willow?" both Xander and Buffy asked Giles at the same time.
 "I seriously don't know, " Giles answered truthfully
 "There is absolutely nothing wrong with me and let me out of this cage! I'm not an animal !" Willow screamed in anger.
 Everyone sat there flabbergasted by her sudden outburst.  They stared at her, then exchanged glances and said, "Willow's possessed."
 After a short silence, Giles said he would get right on it and sent Xander to find a book while Buffy looked after Willow.
 At the sight of all this, Willow felt her anger rise to a level that she had never felt.  She was scared of what might happen if she unleashed all her anger on her friends. So she tried talking to her friends that locked her  in a cage because they thought she was possessed.
 "Xander, Buffy, there is nothing wrong with me.  I just decided to change for the better, no need for you guys to lock me up," she said as calmly as she could.
 Xander didn't hear her because he was in the stacks looking for the book, but Buffy did, because she was sitting on the table in front of the cage.
 Buffy answered her with hurt in her voice, "Willow, I am sorry about bringing you into the Hellmouth business and I would like nothing better than to believe you, but our Willow doesn't dress or act this way."
 "Okay, fine.  I guess we will have to do this the hard way," Willow answered angrily, and she thought about how mad she was at everyone in the room for being so judgmental about her idea of change. < Very well, > she thought. < I'll have to get out of here on my own, because staying in this filthy cage till they decide I'm not possessed is not my idea of fun, especially since Giles is the only brains of this outfit. <Oh, that was mean, but Buffy and Xander deserve that little comment. >
 Willow sat down in the cage and started chanting in Latin, she was calling on her Goddess, and on the winds of the East, for help on getting out of the cage. She finally found her power after chanting for about five minutes. Next thing they saw was Willow, floating inside the cage then zapping the cage door with her finger and the door flying open as she passed through it. When Buffy saw this, she immediately went into battle mode as Willow did, too. Both friends were fighting as equals, much to Buffy's dismay.
 Willow was finally doing something with her new found talent in martial arts and it felt righteous, she felt compelled to keep fighting with Buffy even though it was her best friend she was fighting. Finally, Willow realized it was enough and with all her strength she did a punch, roundhouse kick combination to Buffy's stomach and it sent Buffy flying toward Xander and Giles. As they helped Buffy up, Willow did the next best thing -- she ran out
of the library towards her car, jumped in, turned it on and was driving like a maniac toward her house.
 While on her way to her house, she though about what had just happened and how she would explain this without a repeat of this night, and found no solution. A solution dawned on her as she parked her car -- she would wait till Oz came back from tour to try it again. But what was she going to do meanwhile?
 It hit her as she said "Hi" to her Mom and Dad. She was going to visit Angel in LA.  At least till Oz came back. It was perfect, except she would have to leave tonight, and tell her Mom and Dad about it as well.  She didn't wanna break their hearts by running away. She went upstairs and packed everything she would need for the month and a half.  She would crash at Angel's place, she hoped he wouldn't mind. She took her laptop, her cell phone, all her wiccan stuff and her new clothes. She got all her money, which was $500 cash from graduation, and her credit card. After she finished packing, she went downstairs to her living room to talk to her parents.
 She started talking about her future and how she wanted to find herself before going to college, then she told them she was going to LA for a month and a half to do this, and that she was going to stay with a friend and they
needed not to worry because she was going to be fine. After her whole speech, her parents amazed her by saying she could go, and her dad handed her another $300 dollars in cash, told her to take care and call them when she was settled.  She kissed them good-bye, got all her stuff from her bedroom, and headed to pack her car.
 As she did this, in the distance she could hear Giles's hoopty car and she knew she had to go before they got there. She went back inside and told her parents not to tell anyone where she was going, not even her friends, and grabbed the note pad from the kitchen and wrote a brief note to Buffy and the gang, then gave that to her parents to give to Buffy when they got there. She bid her parents farewell, ran out of her house, jumped in her car and
sped away just as Giles was pulling into her driveway.
 When the gang knocked on the door of Willow's house, her Mom answered and handed Buffy the note, then said goodnight to them as she went back inside. Buffy slowly opened the note and read it.  The first thing she noticed was it was Willow's handwriting, then preceded to read it.
I am sorry to leave like this but its something I had to do. I know it has caused you great pain, but you will understand when it's revealed to you why I had to do this. Tell everyone I love them and don't forget me. I'll be back, don't worry, its a temporary thing. By the way I'm not possessed.

 As Buffy read this note, she started crying as she was being held by Xander, he looked like he was about to cry, too. Giles was driving towards Xander's house to drop him off and they all sat there quietly thinking what would
posses Willow, quiet and shy Willow, to do this.
Part 2

Um, I wonder how far I have to travel, Willow thought as she passed the leaving Sunnydale Sign which was on the side of the road, < guess someone ran into it>, she thought as she drove down the highway.

As her drive towards LA progressed so did her thoughts.< I can imagine Buffy is heart broken about me leaving, I bet Xander hates me and Giles has no idea what to think, maybe I should have thought about explaining my
change better. I should have stayed and helped them out, after all it is the Hellmouth. I shouldn't feel bad about what happened, they pushed me to it, I had no choice in the matter they didn't want to listen I tried to tell them
but there was nothing I could do. They jumped to conclusions. I wanted to stay but I couldn't tell them after they locked me in the cage. I was too mad, I should go back. Stop the car and turn around>  Then it hit her, she talked about her going back but wasn't trying to stop the car. She knew the same thing would happen if she went back and she wasn't ready to deal with their stupidity again.

< That's right Willow you are welcomed to stay with me>

<What? Who said that? and why are you in my head? Hey, get out of there!>

<Huh? You can hear me? Willow, you can hear what I'm thinking?>

<Well, duh! or I wouldn't be answering you, so are you going to tell me who you are or are you going to sit there and play stupid games?> Willow thought angrily.

<Oh, Willow you really have changed from when I knew you, you sound angry, you never got angry before.>

<Fuck you! I don't even know who you are and by the way, things change! So who the fuck are you already?>

I have to tell her before she gets angrier at me Angel thought

<We already went through this and what bond are you talking about and you are really getting on my fucking nerves so tell me who you are already> Willow was angrier than ever right now, she couldn't believe someone was listening to her thoughts, it made her mad to no end and she wanted to find out who it was.

<Okay, I'll tell you who I am, but quit using such language, Willow, I'm Angel>

<Its me, Willow, and your right I can't read minds, just yours, ever since you went into Hell and got me>

<What?! How do you know about that? Only one person knows I'm the one who got Angel out of Hell, oh my God!  You tortured Angel till he told you, then you killed him didn't you? Oh I hate you! If I ever find you I'm going to kill you and it will be very painful!>

<Huh? No Willow its Angel, really, ask me anything. I can hear your thoughts because of the bond that was made when you went to Hell and brought me out. honest, it's me, no one killed me, although thanks for caring>

<Angel? Are you sure your you? I mean how? Why? What bond? How long have you known about this? And you didn't tell me, ooh I could dust you if you were here in this car with me, for that! I can't believe you wouldn't tell me!>

<Hey, I'm here aren't I and that gives you no right to get mad. I should be mad at you for not telling me about this bond sooner and yes, I'm guilty on the spell thing but we are still talking about your actions not mine. So don't
change the subject, buddy!>

<Um, how about we just wait till you get here to discuss everything, so I don't have to be worried about you crashing or something>

<Okay Angel, HEY! How did you know I was going to your place?>

<Lucky guess!>

<OOPS! Talk to you when you get here. Sorry, bye Willow, I'll leave you and your thoughts alone>

<You are seriously going to get it, mister, and stop listening to my thoughts! See ya in about an hour and don't you even think of playing cryptic guy with me. You better be there when I get there, so bye>

<Um, okay I'll stop and I'll be here>

Willow couldn't believe what had just happened, she had a cocktail of emotions going through her it was quite extraordinary to be feeling all these things. Willow remembered about putting gas in the car, so she stopped to get gas and when she went to pay the gas station attendant Willow saw something that reminded her of Angel. It was a mug, with a picture of a little Teddy bear angel, drinking something with the words "Drain me " on the bottom, she had to get it for him. She paid for the gas and the mug and hit the road once again.

Angel was sitting in his new living room in his new house wondering what had just happened. He was at loss of words, when he tried to tell himself he had never heard Willow compliment him on the way he looked in her
thoughts when she last talked to him. He knew he was wrong for reading her thoughts without permission but it was funny how she would say one thing and be thinking the complete opposite or how she would curse at her friends in her thoughts.  It was something he knew he shouldn't have done but it was calling to him to do it since he heard her thinking about him while she was in self defense school one day. She was wondering if she could kick his ass all the way across Sunnydale, then maybe take a bath afterwards and talk to him about mushy stuff she was feeling. <ooh, down boy, Angel thought to himself.  Then started thinking what was going to be his punishment from Willow for not telling her>

Willow was almost to Angel's house when his thoughts interrupted her own. She smiled, he was wondering about the punishment she was going to inflict on him, that pleased her a lot, to see him wondering. She got to Angel's house and parked her car, got her stuff and decided not to knock, and scare him. So she teleported herself and her things inside to the guest bedroom. Put everything down  then teleported herself right behind Angels chair in the living room. Then she started sending  him her thoughts while just standing behind him. She was about to fall down laughing because he hadn't noticed her yet, so she started her game.



<Duh! who else's thoughts do you read without permission?>

Willow was still standing behind him as he started to squirm when she told him about reading her thoughts without permission. She held her giggles because he was actually squirming, she thought that was really funny.

<So, Willow, how long till you get here?>

<Um, Angel, I'm already here>

<Quit being funny, if you were here I would've heard you knock>

<Well, I'm here, and I didn't knock>

<What! Where? When? How? and why didn't you knock?>

<I'm standing right behind you and have been for about 15 minutes and I teleported myself here. I wanted to scare you, so I didn't knock but decided scared vamps are kind of hostile. Don't you think? So I decided to play this

<That's a good thing.  Your deciding not to scare this vamp, because it would not have been pretty for you to see me in game face and ready to attack you.>

<Yeah well, I'm smart so can we stop with the mind thing. Its really annoying and would you turn around and look at me already>

<Yeah, sure, I'm turning around now>

Willow knew he didn't believe her so she was just standing there with a cheesy ass smile plastered on her face. Just waiting for his reaction, which was not what she expected since she'd already told him she was there.
As he turned and saw her, he jumped back into full Grr mode and was in an attack position. By this time Willow couldn't hold back laughing anymore so she burst into a fit of giggles as she watched Angel.

He looked at her, and she was on the floor in a fit of giggles, which made him mad and she just kept looking at him and laughing, which made him angrier. He finally calmed down from the scare and put his human mask on, as he heard her thoughts in his head.

<Payback's are a bitch aren't they Angel>

<Very funny Willow, ha ha ha, see, this is me laughing>

<Hey, its not my fault you didn't believe me. I told you and warned you. It's not my fault you over reacted and talk already, quit with the mind thing>

<You have a sexy voice> Willow thought to herself.

"Hey stop it," she said as she blushed, "talk Angel, you have a lot of explaining to do."

"Fine, let me start, no questions till the end and by the way, nice to see you again," Angel said very calmly.

"You too," Willow said, then motioned for him to get started.

"After I give my explanation, you give yours on what happened in Sunnydale for you to come stay at my place, which is very far away from Sunnydale," he said. He saw Willow nod and he thought back to the beginning, when he was in Hell.

Part 3
"After I give my explanation, you give yours on what happened in Sunnydale for you to come stay at my place which is very far away from Sunnydale," he said. He saw Willow nod, and he thought back to the beginning, when he was in Hell.
  "Um, okay, as you know I lost my soul and, well, Angelus was back with a vengeance, and the stupid wanker decided for Hell on earth," as Angel finished saying this he saw Willow looking at him with admiration instead of
accusation against him for the whole Angelus thing.
 Willow thought, as he went on.
  "So, after the whole opening Acathla incident, you returned my soul and Buffy sent me to Hell" he added almost in a whisper.
Willow could see the pained look in his chocolate brown eyes as he said  this, so she decided there was something he needed to know before he went on.

She had been researching the restoration spell for his soul after he left, she did it just so he could have peace of mind. That Angelus would never come out to play, so to speak, after all, they were friends.
"Angel?", Willow asked with some uncertainty
"Yeah?", Angel answered, with some uncertainty of his own, he thought Willow was going to tell him Angel and Angelus were the same person, but he knew she had the right to do that.
 "Um, lets see," said Willow flatly, "I don't know how to work it gently into our conversation,  so I am just going to say it, okay?"
"Willow, whatever it is, I'll understand, don't worry, you are my friend and nothing you could say would hurt me <God, it would hurt me more than anything, but I can't let her know> so tell me already," he stated simply as he started to pace.
"OK, don't get your knickers in a bunch," she said.

"Um, here goes" < she took a deep breath and let it all out, then got straight to the point.>
neverhavetoworryaboutyourdemon".<Wow, that took a lot> Willow thought to herself, as she waited for Angels reaction.
Angel looked at Willow dumbfounded <how could such a little thing talk so damn fast and doesn't she need to breath in between words> he thought.   "Huh? Could you run that by me again, and breathe this time," he told
"Hee hee hee, I guess that would be a good idea... huh .....since you are  an old man who needs a hearing aid, here it goes again."  Willow told him.
"you...have....a...permanent...soul...and...you....never...have..to..worry... bout...your...demon... coming... out...to. play... ever...again...you...will..be...   Angel...forever...until...you...die..or..in..your...case..till...you...get... dusted," she finished.
"Ha ha ha ha, very funny Willow, I'm so glad you respect your elders."  Angel stated.
  "Heloooo, is there anyone in your head, Angel, are you getting senile in your old age? Cause you don't seem to have listened to what I said"
Angel was getting impatient with her immaturity about their talk.  "Yes, I heard. I have a permanent soul, big fucking deal Willow, now can we get back  the talk you insisted on"
  Before Willow could respond to Angel's angry remark she saw him pass out.
<That was weird> Willow thought, but no matter, she did her transportation  spell on both of them and took them to Angel's room.
She levitated him through the air, and into his bed. Then she went to her room, got some herbs, mixed them with a packet of blood that she got from the fridge, and heated the blood and herbs up in the microwave.

 Then she placed the continents in a cup and transported herself back to Angel's room, to find him sleeping like a baby <he looks so peaceful like an angel. Ooh, look at the size of this bed, and the black silk sheets. Wow, I wanna sleep here ... bad, very bad thinking! This is Buffy's man, you don't become a wanton woman Willow> she thought to herself, as she put the cup of blood and herbs under Angel's nose.

She saw his nose twitch and then he transformed into full GRR mode. Willow found this extremely sexy, then mentally kicked herself for thinking the demon face was sexy.  While Willow was trying to figure out how to get him to drink the blood, that was laced with special 'awake herbs', as Willow called them, she saw Angel's eyes
flutter open. He snatched the cup from her hand and drank deeply until he finished all the contents.
Willow was so intrigued by seeing Angel "eat" that she didn't notice she was starring, until Angel growled deep in his throat. Then she did the only  thing she could, she transported herself to her room and shut the door and
 locked it. She wasn't scared of Angel in his vampiric form, mostly ashamed of violating his privacy like that.
She should have left as soon as she saw him wake up. Oh well, she thought,  another stupid thing I did, to add to the rest of my "Stupid things Willow Does" list.
Meanwhile: in Angels room.
So Angel jumped off the bed and followed his vampiric senses which told him she was in the guest room. Angel was relieved to find her still in his house, so he knocked very calmly on the door, trying not to scare her anymore than he thought he had.
Inside the guest bedroom
Willow heard the door and got off the bed and went to answer it. She saw Angel with a concerned look in his eye, and then she spoke before Angel could blame himself for everything as usual. She knew he didn't need anymore
guilt in his life, so she shushed him and started talking.
"Angel, listen to me, it's not your fault. I know you don't like people seeing you feed. I found it amusing, so I stayed. No, you didn't scare me. I shouldn't have stayed, but curiosity, as you know, killed the cat or in this case the witch. So please don't blame yourself, or I'm going to be very angry. Believe me, you don't wanna see me angry! It is not pretty and, as you know, I have my resolve face on and you can't change my mind, so don't even try arguing, "she stated, not so simply.
Angel heard her, and decided that her words had a force to be reckoned with, and he knew it was futile to argue with her. He did something he hadn't thought of before, he pulled her into a crushing hug that stunned both him
and Willow.
"Um, Angel?" Willow asked

"Hmm?" Angel asked, as he kept hugging her.

"Angel, friend, pal, buddy I"m not the walking undead, so I need to breath, if  it's not too much trouble. I like that automatic function I have and, well,  you are making it become unautomatic. But don't worry, I loved the hug, just
 you know, I have that pesky need to breath thing to deal with, so when I stop breathing I'll make sure I hold you for hours on end in a crushing hug but, till then, do you mind," Willow babbled with a sarcastic undertone to her
"Oh, well then, when you stop breathing I will be exercising my right to be held in a crushing hug for hours," Angel added sheepishly
After this Willow went on to tell Angel about what happened in Sunnydale.  Then she told him about her super wakeup drugs. She told him he was going to be awake for about a whole other day before he got to sleep again. She also reassured him that his soul was permanent. That she was sure it was, cause she spent a whole week researching it, nonstop, all day, everyday.
On the other hand Angel thanked her nonstop, for his soul being permanent, and explained the bond to her. He told her that as soon as she performed the spell, and sent her soul into Hell looking for him. The bond was formed, as a sort of beacon, for her to be able to find him in Hell, especially since he was in the ninth level of Hell.  It was a good thing for the bond, or both of them might have been stuck in Hell or worse, brought back the demon, that
was why the bond was made, and it is eternal, until one of them is gone or dust.

Part 4

"So, Angel, what do you want to do, since you're going to be awake quite a while? " Twitch, shrug, Angel answers "I don't know."

"Um, I need to ask a favor."

"Mmm" At this moment Angel, being more interested in the sensations that were rushing over him, Willow was a poor second to the waves of energy he was feeling.

"You know how paybacks are a bitch, well, I need to payback someone you know and I need you to help me find him."

"Willow" comes the warning.

"I need you to help me find Spike, I want him to pay for kidnapping me, then  I'll thank him for helping me change."

"What makes you think I know where he is Willow? Or if I did, that I would tell you, trying to get back at Spike is not an easy job. He doesn't fight fair, as you know. And he isn't going to feel like being thanked after a big

"I know you have contacts all over the world, you could help me locate him, wherever he is."

<The mansion is a really small world, guess she doesn't know Spike is living with me.>

"So what do you say?"

"Will, I don't know where he is. <When he left, he didn't tell me, hell, he may not know where he's going.>

"Never mind, think about it, okay."

But all Willow heard was a "Hummpf" against the pacing of feet.

"Um Angel, can I ask you a personal question."

<Can I stop her? Who took the "Wide awakes" anyhow, me or Willow, but she's not going to let me alone.> sighing, very quietly, he said "Yes."

"Is it bad to have daydreams about the bad guy?"

"What kind of bad guys, Jack the Ripper, Hitler, Saddam Hussein, or demon and Vampires?"

This talk was giving Angel chills down his undead spine. When the humans he cared for started on this kind of subject trouble was right behind. He had saved them so many times that they never knew about, most of them started to think that they could take care of themselves.

"Vampires, I guess, cause I've been having the strangest daydreams about you and Spike, fighting evil and doingotherstuffaswell." Willow rushed to finish, while turning bright red. There, she'd said it, no taking it back. But maybe he hadn't heard -- of course he had, vamps have great hearing, the ball's in play.

<What does she ...>

"Oh! I didn't mean to pry, but I just wanted to tell you, cause every time I look at you those daydreams pop up and well they are quite distracting."

<Doesn't mean to pry, doesn'... calm Angel stop pacing, answer her. How? She's talking about sex, Vampire Sex, fighting, Gods help me!>

"I have one more question then you can ask me whatever you want," Willow put on a straight face and asked," Are vampires gay" than she started giggling uncontrollably.
 Angel visibly tried to get control of himself, between Willow's "wakeup potion", and her probing sexual questions, Angel's ever present cool, was gone. He wasn't about to tell her that Vamps are omnisexual < more like
whatever comes up, he thought ruefully.>

"What do you care whether a vampire is gay or not. You aren't having sex with one, they'd kill you for afters." Yet again, Angel had lost the thrust of the conversation.

"oops......... sorry....... Angel..........I........ just...... had....... to ....ask..... she managed to get out between giggles and whoops of laughter. Much to Angels discomfort.

"????"Angels eyebrows queried.

"Its okay. Don't worry, when you started dating Buffy, Giles made her read this book called, "The Mating Practices of Demons," can you imagine Giles, the stuffy, oh so British, Watcher/ librarian handing this book over to a teenage girl.

<She makes it sound like "Sex and the Single Vampire,">

It was really detailed, Buffy read it all. That's why in a middle of a fight with all those demons she's slain, we used to giggle so much, cause we would remember the book and have mental pictures but it's a secret so don't tell
anyone "

"So don't worry I know all about you and your strange tastes,"<Not in this unlife time you don't> he thought grimly.

She giggled "I read the book, plus the Watcher Diaries on you and Spike, as well as a lot of hot looking vamps."

Bout now Angel just wanted to escape from this feminine barrage. Thinking she knew about Vampires from reading the 'Diaries', He didn't know all about vamps and he was one.

"Hey I'm a teenager what do ya expect me to do with my hormones, stuff them in an envelope for later, I think not"

<Maybe Medieval men were right, Chastity belts had their place!>

"Hormones aren't an excuse for going out and playing with demons, if you read the 'Diaries' on my lif..um..eer..time as a Vampire, you'll know that our sex is rough. That it can even kill vamps, there are beating and bloodletting. A
human wouldn't survive foreplay, never mind the act."

"Buffy survived," hinted Willow.

"Willow, I nearly killed her. Without a soul, I would have drained her before we even got to foreplay. Remember, I was meant to love and Protect the Slayer, I fell head over heels the first time Whistler showed her to me. And
I nearly killed her."

It was a lot of fun, plus I figured, if push comes to shove, I can save my ass by having sex with any of these vamps. I mean you vamps are very driven by sexual stuff so hey it was a good idea don't you think?"
<Girl does not listen> the pacing grew more frenzied, fortunately a vamps pacing is quieter than a humans is, thus saving Willows sanity. In fact she was so excited about talking about demon sex she didn't notice Angel's
growing agitation.

"Quit looking at me like I grew another head,"

*You mean you haven't!" muttered below the range of Willow's hearing. <I'd feel better if she'd use the one she already has. This newfound confidence is going to get her killed. Have sex with a demon to save your life! She's mad, raving, round the bend. First sex, then death, then cigarette, then burial and isn't demon sex just great.>

I don't wanna die anytime soon, so I'm willing to sleep with any one of you vamps to save my ass. If it helps save my friend's asses as well, cool. I've read once you have sex with a vamp there is nothing that can compare."
<That awful Anne Rice has a lot to account for> "Willow, people who have sex with Vamps end up dead. It's not safe..."

"I know this" bragged Willow "cause I've been talking to people like Buffy and Cordy, Samantha. And some of Spike's girls, too, you learn a lot on the Internet. You seem to run into a lot of things, and yes, I know all about you and Cordy, so close your mouth, something might fly in there."

Stunned silence was her only response. Angel may have been the "Scourge of Europe" but that was before soul-havage. Thing had changed, and he still hadn't gotten used to them. The only sex partners Vampires had were other vamps, hard, fast, often and rough. The rest was feeding. Angel started pacing as he thought about what Willow was saying.

"Don't worry. I'm the only one that knows."

"Hummpf" grunted the Vampire. <if Willow found all this out. Buffy and Mr. Pointy couldn't be far behind. There never was a girl who could keep a secret. The only thing that kept the whole world from knowing was that people
in Sunnydale were so bloody oblivious that word would never get out.>

 Buffy thinks you're into celibacy. She doesn't want to think you have needs, cause then it would ruin the Mr. Perfect thing she sees you as, but I know different."

"Needs?" came rather flatly from Angel < if you think after 200 years I can't control myself. To be fair it was the soul not the age, but still.>

"I also know about your thing for blondes. I read the "Diaries" from the years when you ran with Spike, before Dru came along. Quite an interesting habit there. Do you know how the Watchers knew about you and Spike screwing anything that had blonde hair? You screwed the Watcher a couple of times, yup, very uncool screwing the enemy."

"Damn Watchers, have big mouths."  And still he paced.

"I mean, I've heard of consorting with the enemy, but screwing the enemy that's a new low. Shows how much you were using your head, oh wait," she snickered, "that was what you were using weren't you."

"Grrr" was Angels only reaction.

"Okay fine, no more talking about your sex life, although there is a lot to talk about but what are we going to do then."

Angel was feeling pleased that she'd agreed to get off the subject of his sex life. Willow had gotten too near many sore spots, he'd have to speak to Cordy. It was a terrible misstep to have had sex with her, it was only the one time. Damn, Cordy must have an active imagination, <Must have, Gods I know just how active it is, she's capable of selling ice to Eskimos, in winter and telling them it has magical properties.>

"Angel" said Willow

 But what puzzled him the most was mention of a Watcher he was supposed to have slept with...Blonde Watcher, he had an excellent memory and remembered most of his sex partners over the centuries, but a blonde Watcher.

"Angel," *Yoohoo, I'm still here* Willow all but jumping up and down for attention. *Look at me, kill the broodage.* Of course, blonde meant Buffy, and Buffy meant woman, maybe the Watcher...Ah, now he knew. But Spike had killed him, so how was their sex mentioned in the "Diaries"?

Mean time, how to make Willow squirm.

Ah, got it, sauce for the goose.

 "Willow" he said, more gently than a vamp should ever speak, "let's talk about your sex life." That should stop her, he thought with satisfaction.

"HUH, you daft?  We are not going to talk about my sex life well cause it sux, I mean I screwed Oz and, well, that was not the highlight of my senior year. Then I screwed this guy I met at a bar but it was like the Oz experience, I don't know haven't really wanted to have sex since then, that's it, no more sex for me"

<Maybe you should trying making love with someone you really care about. Screwing is like eating, you need to do it, but it isn't very good. Making love on the other hand is the most wonderful thing in the world, even undead
hearts are full> thinking this in a fraction of a second all Angel said was "Too bad, Willow."

"OK, now that you know about my sex life, lets play a game. I mean we are going to be awake for a while so how about it?"

"Let's play 'Keep Willow Quiet," shall we." This merited nothing more than a withering glare from Willow

"Lets play truth or dare. You start us off."...........