The Scooby Gang was walking towards the Bronze. Oz and Willow were holding hands, Buffy was limping slightly, and Xander was thinking naughty thoughts.
"Y'know, Buff, if that ankle hurts that much I could give you a piggy- back ride."
Buffy rolled her eyes, "Right, Xander. Always thinking of others, aren't you."
Willow piped in, "Or what he can do to others."
Xander feigned hurt, "Fine, here I am, offering up a selfless act of kindness, after poor Buffy twisted her ankle dusting a vamp, and all I get is mockery. I am deeply wounded."
They all chuckled.
Buffy replied, "Well, thanks anyway, Xander. But it will be okay in a few hours. I have quick Slayer healing.
Oz squeezed Willow's
hand. He loved the shy red head. He was just sorry that the
Dingoes were playing tonight. He'd be spending the next three nights
after this one being a wolf. It cut into the romance
"Willow, maybe we could go to a movie, or something, the first night after."
Willow did some quick math. Today was the first of her "naughty feelings" days. That meant one more naughty day, one very fulfilling night, and one day of afterglow.
"Perfect. Mom and Dad will still be in Phoenix. We can stay out late."
Buffy asked, "I thought the P's were going last week?"
"Yeah, they were. But, I had that awful migraine. Mom wanted to wait until I felt better."
Oz squeezed Willow's hand again. "I'm sorry, baby. I know those things really knock you out. Did the Doctor say anything? That's, like, the sixth one in the last three months."
Willow hated this. She hated the lies, hated the concern she was unnecessarily causing her family and friends. There was just no other way.
"He says it's stress. College, and everything."
Buffy suddenly turned around, wincing slightly at the pain in her ankle. Her vampire sense had kicked into high gear. She was relieved to see Angel standing a little ways behind them.
"Angel." Buffy was thrilled to see him. "What are you doing here?" She secretly hoped that he'd been following them, unable to stay away from her. She couldn't have been more wrong.
"I was just out walking."
Buffy smiled, "Great. You can come to the Bronze with us. Oz is playing. It'll be fun."
Willow was staring at Angel. She hoped her look said, "Bad idea-Go away", but, was resigned to the fact that it was probably more of a "Take me now, hard and fast" look.
Oz urged, "It'll be fun. Come on. We know you love the nightlife."
Willow finally spoke up, "Don't be pushy. Maybe he's tired. You look tired Angel. Are you tired? Maybe you should go home and rest."
Buffy shot her friend a cutting look. "Don't be silly, Willow. He looks great. It will be fun. Besides, you hardly ever spend time with all of us anymore. I... We miss you."
Xander sneered, "Yeah, we've been just pining for your company."
Until Xander had spoke, Angel had decided to go home. He knew he shouldn't be anywhere near Willow right now. Xander was just too much of a smart-ass for his own good.
"Sure, I'd love to come." He put his arm around Buffy. "Lean on me, I'll help you walk"
Willow hated to see him touch her. It made her crazy. She turned around and half-dragged Oz towards the direction of the Bronze.
"C'mon, you're going to be late for your set."
They all followed. Angel was smiling. He was watching Willow walk, enjoying the way her hips moved.
The Bronze was crowded.
Dingoes Ate My Baby was becoming more popular all of the time. Xander,
Buffy, Angel and Willow sat at a table, watching the band. Willow
was trying to concentrate on Oz, but it was
difficult, Angel kept pressing his thigh into hers. She liked the contact, but it reminded her a little of when her
and Xander were playing at being something more than friends.
Angel spoke, "I want to dance. Let's dance."
Willow jerked her head towards him. Oh, he was talking to Buffy.
"I can't. My ankle is still sore. Dance with Willow."
Angel turned towards her. "May I have the honour of a dance, Miss?"
Willow hesitated, wanting to say yes, but afraid. "No."
Buffy shook her head. "Go ahead, Willow. You love to dance. Angel won't bite. Go on."
Xander just couldn't help himself. "He will too bite."
Willow gave in. "Oh, okay. Let's dance."
The band had just started their last number of the set. A slow song. Great, Willow. Just Great. This was a bad, bad, idea.
Angel had guided her to the floor. He gently placed his hands on her waist. Willow put her hands on his shoulders. They swayed to the music.
"I've been missing you, Willow."
"Couldn't you have missed me a another night? This is getting complicated."
"I didn't intend to come after you tonight. It just happened."
He was turning her slightly, turning her so that their right side only was visible to Buffy and Xander. He slipped his hand underneath the bottom of her shirt and touched her bare flesh. She whimpered and squeezed his shoulder.
"Don't do this now. Anyone could see."
"No one will see. Have I thanked you again?"
"For helping Giles with the soul restoration. For making sure Angelus won't ever come back."
She remembered the night they'd performed the ritual. It had been three weeks ago, and she hadn't seen him since then. Three weeks where he could sleep with Buffy and not fear the consequences.
"You're welcome. It was just a matter of changing some verb tenses. Easy enough, once Giles figured it out. Have you seen much of Buffy since then?"
"Twice. And no, Willow, I haven't been sleeping with her. Under the circumstances that would hardly be fair."
Angel was attempting to slide his fingers into the waistband of her jeans. "I apparently can't. We need to leave before I throw you down and fuck you in the middle of the floor."
"It just feels more like cheating. We could keep it under control right now, if we really tried."
"Don't want to."
"Come to my house. My parents are in Phoenix. I was going to suggest it tomorrow, anyway."
"How do we manage to get out of here?"
"I've been having migraines. You can walk me home. Just follow my lead."
The couple walked back to the table, just as the song was ending. Willow grabbed her chair, pretending to steady herself.
"Willow!" Buffy exclaimed, "Are you alright?"
Oz walked up behind Willow and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You okay, baby?"
"No. I'm getting another migraine. I think I'd better go home."
Oz was concerned, "I'll walk you."
"No, Oz. You can't miss the next set just because of this stupid headache. I'll be fine."
Angel broke in; "Xander, why don't you walk Willow home and I'll stay with Buffy. I can take her home after her ankle is feeling better. Okay?"
Xander eyed Angel for a moment. "Not okay. You can walk Willow home. I'll take care of Buffy."
Willow lowered her head so that no one could see her small smile. Angel certainly knew how to play Xander.
Angel hesitated, giving Buffy a wistful look. "Well, okay. Maybe I'll come back after I see her home."
Oz turned Willow to face him. "I'll call you later, make sure you're okay."
"No, I'll be okay. I'll take one of those little pills the doctor gave me. I'll be out all night. You can call late tomorrow morning. Okay?"
Oz hugged her. "Okay. And if you don't feel up to wolf-watching, give Giles a call. He said he'd fill in when he had to."
There wouldn't be any need to phone Giles. He already knew with whom
she'd be spending that night. Once he'd gotten over his original shock
and disgust, Giles had been very helpful. Not with just
the soul restoration, but with alibis. He'd been the one who'd suggested her 'migraines'.
Oz gave Willow a kiss goodbye. He was surprised with her response. Definitely not as prim as her usual public displays. Maybe she should have migraines more often.
The sound system kicked on with some between set tunes. Willow listened to the song as she and Angel said their goodbyes and headed for the door. Perfect, just perfect. As if I didn't feel bad enough.
The Smashing Pumpkins Ava Adore was playing as the two lovers walked out:
Angel stopped and turned to Willow. "Can I kiss you now? I've been waiting a long time."
Willow turned her face towards him as an answer. He brought his hands up and ran his fingers through her hair. Angel kissed her, gently at first, nibbling her lower lip. Willow sighed and slipped her tongue into his mouth, deepening the kiss. She moved her hands down between them and rubbed his growing hardness.
It was Angel's turn to sigh. He reluctantly broke the kiss.
"Maybe we should get you home before we wind up in a phone booth."
"There's an alley half a block up."
Angel chuckled, "Hussy."
"Only with you."
Angel considered her comment for a moment. "Only with me. You asked about Buffy. What about you and Oz?" His eyes narrowed.
"No, not with Oz. Not with anyone but you. Can we please have a topic change? I already feel bad enough about this whole mess."
"Why do you feel bad about wanting me, Willow."
She lowered her eyes, "Because I think about you, want you, even when I'm not supposed to."
"And why do you feel bad about it? I don't."
Willow lost her cool, "Why? Why? Because Oz loves me, he's my boyfriend, and he cares about me. And what do I do? I'm fucking like a bunny with my best friends true love." She paused. " I'm going to sleep with him, though. I want to have a normal relationship with Oz."
At her last words,
Angel's demon got the better of him. He grabbed her roughly by the
shoulders and shook her with each word he spoke, "You are not going to
fuck Oz. You are not going to give yourself to anyone
but me, Willow. Not anyone. Normal relationship? Don't make me laugh. You will NEVER have a normal relationship with Oz. You gave up the right to a normal relationship with Oz when you offered me your
virginity. The only chance you have for a normal relationship is with me, Willow." His voice softened and he released her. "Willow, I lo..."
Willow balled up her fist and hit him as hard as she could, right in his beautiful mouth. Angel stepped back, more from surprise than from hurt.
Willow screamed at
him. "Don't you DARE say it. Not tonight, not tomorrow night, not
ever. You're letting your dick do you're thinking for you, Angel.
The only thing you feel for me is lust, and you wouldn't even be feeling
that if we had know about this fucking obsession curse." She paused, "I
meant, fucking curse, not a 'fucking
The remark, so purely Willow, in the middle of her tirade, made Angel smile. He looked down at her with human eyes, and chuckled.
That did it. "Get the hell away from me, Angel. Stay away from me. I'm just a big joke to you. A walking gag book that you can diddle when you feel the urge."
Angel grabbed her shoulders again, less roughly but with no less intensity. "Don't presume too much Willow. Don't try and tell me what I'm feeling. Don't try and tell me what is and isn't real. You know what, Willow? I'll get the hell away from you. And you can go back to the Bronze and fuck that little boy of yours, if you want. It's okay; I know whose name you'll scream if he manages to get you off. You'll be mine tomorrow night. You're mine every night, whether you admit it or not."
Angel pushed her away from him, hard. She fell backwards, landing on her butt. By the time she'd picked herself up, he was gone.
Sobbing quietly, Willow started walking towards home.
Willow sat on the sofa in the dark, holding her breath. She'd been crying for the more than an hour. The tears had finally dried up, but she'd been hiccuping uncontrollably for the past few minutes. She slowly breathed out and waited. Good, they had finally stopped.
She got up, walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. She looked like death warmed over. She was pale, her eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed. She splashed cold water on her face and searched the medicine chest for Visine. There, that was a little better. She returned to the sofa and curled up.
Willow wished she could
believe that she'd been crying over the hopelessness of her relationship
with Oz. That was a little of it, of course. Mainly, it was
the thought that Angel had left her. Left her, and probably headed
back to the Bronze to the waiting arms of Buffy. Her stomach was
churning at the thought that Angel was with Buffy,
holding her, kissing her, making gentle love to her. It didn't matter that he'd be with Willow tomorrow. He had no choice in that situation. Willow had hurt him, rejected him, and driven him right back to Buffy.
She tried to tell herself
she didn't care. But, she did. And Angel had been right.
Why had she sought him out as her first lover, if she really wanted her
love with Oz to blossom? She had killed it. Maybe her subconscious
had been leading her down that road all along. What about the smoochie
fest with Xander? Why had she ever done that if she wanted to be
with Oz? Willow knew she'd slowly been sabotaging their relationship
for months. And
lately, when Oz kissed her, she would close her eyes and imagine she was in Angel's arms. She was evil, untrustworthy. She didn't deserve Oz. And she realised that she'd been staying with him out of a sense
sexy Angel. She had thought about him in a sexual way for what seemed
like years. When Buffy had slept with him, changing him into a demon,
the thoughts hadn't stopped. She'd been sick with jealousy, despite
the fact that Buffy was in an emotional hell. He'd killed Jenny,
and she had still thought he was attractive.
And then Angelus was gone, sent to the demon dimension. Willow had thought that was the end of it. But, Angel had come back and she'd chosen him as her first, believing at the time, having to believe, that the only reason was because she'd not wanted her virginity to make her an object in Xander and Oz's eyes. She could admit the truth to herself now. She'd slept with him because she had wanted him. Plain and simple.Willow covered her face with her hands.
At least that's what she thought to be true. It got too damn confusing around this time. She couldn't think straight, couldn't think past having Angel put his hands on her body, and couldn't think past having him inside her.
She did know one thing. She found herself missing him during the part of the month they weren't together. Angel had honoured Willow's request, and they tried to avoid contact as much as possible. But Willow wasn't so sure that's what she wanted anymore. She wanted him around, to hold her hand, make her smile. All the things that Oz been doing for her. And she wanted Angel to make love to her, because he truly wanted to, not because he was driven to.
There was a knock at
the door. <God, please not Oz. I can't deal with Oz again tonight.
I can't look in his concerned eyes and tell another lie. > She rose reluctantly
to answer the door. Afraid it would be Oz,
hoping wildly that it would be Angel. She opened the door, hesitantly. It was Angel.
Willow couldn't help herself; she stepped outside, into his arms, and started sobbing again. Angel comforted her, stroking her hair, murmuring gentle words into her ear. After awhile, the crying ended. She stepped back into the house, holding his hand.
"Come in, Angel. You're invited, always."
He followed her into her home. Willow led him by the hand over to the sofa, her earlier fears forgotten. He sat and pulled her into his lap.
"Willow, I am so sorry I lost my temper earlier. I just get so jealous when you talk about sleeping with Oz. Did I hurt you?"
"No, I'm just a little sore. You can kiss it better."
Angel laughed, "Little girl, your mind is always on one thing."
"So? Isn't yours?" Willow kissed him, without reserve. Their tongues met, stroking one another. Willow slid her hand inside his shirt. Angel grabbed her hand, staying it, and broke the kiss.
"Wait, Willow. I want to talk to you first. About you and Oz. And about Buffy and I. We need to clear a few things up."
Willow looked at him, fear showing in her eyes. She didn't want to talk about anything. She just wanted him. She wouldn't be able to stand it if they had to rehash their other romances. And Willow was afraid that he might have been back to the Bronze, back to Buffy. He'd probably been gone long enough. What if he had slept with her? What then?
Angel spoke, "We have to Willow. We have to get a few things straight between us."
Reluctantly, Willow nodded her consent.
Willow moved from Angel's lap, sitting next to him. Close, but not too close. If he wanted to talk and actually have her carry on her end of the conversation, she couldn't afford to be close to his magnificent body.
Willow started, "Okay, we're talking. I'm sorry I made you angry."
"We've already been through that. I want to talk about Buffy and Oz."
Willow shrugged, "So, talk. I think you should know, though, they're not one of my favourite topics right now." She paused, "Did you go back to the Bronze?"
Angel shook his head, "No, I started home. Then I turned around and followed you. I wanted to make sure you got home all right. I just needed some time to think about things."
"And what did you come up with? Are we telling all to Oz and Buffy, now? Or are you going to start fucking her, and me?"
Angel's eyes flashed, "Let's not start this, again. Okay?"
"Okay, no fighting. I'm beginning to feel like a drama queen, anyway."
"Fine. I think we need to lay a few ground rules. You're doubting what you feel for me and Oz. Right?"
Willow nodded. "On the nose. And I don't like feeling this way. I can't be sure if what I'm feeling towards you, and what I'm not feeling towards Oz, is real. I don't know if it's part of our little obsession or not."
"I'm feeling the same way. All I know is how I feel about you now. How I feel like I'm missing a limb when we're apart. And about the feelings I don't seem to have for Buffy, anymore."
"I know. It's the same for me. I mean, with Oz, not Buffy."
Angel chuckled, "Oh, Willow. What am I going to do with you?"
"I can think of at least three or four things, right off the top of my head."
Angel took her hand in his. "Be patient, little one. We've got all night. I have a proposal for you."
"Ooh, a naughty one I hope."
"Now cut that out! Not a naughty one, not yet, anyway. A sane one. I think you should cool things down with Oz. Tell him you need a little space. Tell him you need time to think things through, with graduation and college coming up."
"Well, that would be dandy for you. Then you'd have Buffy, and I could be you're bit of fluff on the side." Willow yanked her hand from his, crossing her arms across her chest.
Angel looked at her. She could be so touchy sometimes. He guessed he was guilty of the same thing these days.
"No, Willow. You're not going to be my bit of fluff. And neither is Buffy. I think I need to set that relationship aside, for now.
Willow was torn between the love of her friend and her desire for the man sitting next to her. Friendship won out, for the moment.
"Oh, but you'll break her heart. She loves you so much."
"And what about your heart, Willow? What happens if I don't end it with Buffy? What would that do to you?"
Willow thought for a moment. "You're right, you're always right. That can be very annoying. You should try and cut that out, you might get on my bad side."
Angel smiled, "Well, we can't have that. So we're agreed?"
"Agreed. But, we can't just walk in and say, 'Guess what, guys! Angel and I are lovers, so screw the two of you!' I can't do that to either of them.
"I was suggesting that, Willow. I'm not even suggesting we become a public couple. I think we need some time together, time when we aren't ripping one another's clothes off. We should try dating. The rest of the month, I mean."
Willow was exasperated, "We can't just date, it's gone a little far for that, don't you think?"
"Well, we can do things besides just date. Don't have much choice in that. But we can be together, take time to know one another. It will give us time to figure out our real feelings."
"Angel, if I agree, will you come to my bedroom with me? Now?"
"Ooh, twist my arm, little girl. Lead the way."
They walked into Willow's bedroom. Angel looked around, as if seeing it for the first time. The stuffed animals and other things seemed so different than the Willow he knew, the Willow who moaned at his slightest touch. It was all a part of her, he knew, and he loved it. His eyes settled on a floor length black curtain covering her window.
"New interior decorator, Willow?"
Willow grinned, "Mom actually suggested it. It's to keep the sun out when I'm having a migraine. How's that for convenient."
"I'm sure you'd have thought of it yourself, given time."
Willow started to take off his shirt. "Sssh, no more talk now. I've agreed to what you want, now give me what I want."
Angel's answer was
to pull the shirt off of his body. He removed his shoes, socks, and
unbuttoning his pants, slid them from his body. He stood naked in
front of her. Willow smiled and slipped her top over
"Willow Rosenburg! I thought so before, but I'm sure now. You're not wearing a bra!"
Willow unbuttoned her jeans, pulled them down and stepped out of them. "I'm not wearing any panties, either." Despite herself, she blushed.
"I thought you weren't planning on seeing me, tonight."
"Well, there's always hope. Besides, I don't like to wear them when it gets close to time for…um…it… just feels better.
Angel walked over to her bed and sat down. "Come to bed, Willow."
She walked over and sat on his lap. She liked sitting on his lap. When he held her, she felt as if nothing in the world could harm her. She felt protected, and cared for.
Angel kissed her, his tongue flicking at the corners of her mouth. Willow's stomach flip-flopped and she wound her fingers in his hair, returning the kiss with a fierce intensity.
He kissed her back, running his fingers over her breasts, stopping to rub each nipple with his thumb. His other hand was busy stroking her ass.
Willow moved down to the floor, and knelt in front of him. She kissed his chest, taking in each nipple and swirling her tongue around it. She continued down his body, kissing his navel and trailing her tongue down the fine line of hair that connected to his groin. Angel moaned her name.
She was playing, still not allowing him the satisfaction of her mouth on his twitching erection. She licked his thigh on each side, where it connected to his scrotum. Then, pausing, she drew both of his testicles into her mouth, sucking gently, and massaging them with her tongue. Angel grabbed her shouder and squeezed, hurting her slightly, but unintentionally. She moved up to the tip of his cock, flicking her tongue at the tip, teasing him. She took a deep breath and plunged her mouth down over him. He lifted his hips slightly and groaned. She held still for a moment and then started an up and down rhythm. His hips moved in counter-rhythm to her mouth.
Angel was groaning. She stole a glance up at him. He was watching her, his eyes dark and intense. She faltered, and stopped. It was very disconcerting. Angel smiled and with a finger to her chin, lifted her face to his. He kissed her deeply.
"That's okay, Willow. I don't want it like that, not tonight, anyway."
He helped her up and
laid her down on the bed, pausing to slip a pillow beneath her hips.
He turned the tables on her, mimicking each action she had performed on
him, then stopping after he licked the inside of her thighs. He opened
her to his view, and gently touched his tongue to her clitoris. She
sighed, and brought her hands down to his head, running her fingers through
his hair. He continued licking her, avoiding too much contact with
her sensitive nub. She moved her hips in response. Encouraged,
he moved his tongue slowly in and out of her
entrance. Willow began moaning consistently, "Oh, Oh, Angel." Over and over again.
His erection was rubbing against the bedspread. The sound of her moans and the friction of the material against him was almost enough to set him off. He grabbed her hips as she bucked, not allowing room for escape. She stiffened and with a wail, came. She lay shuddering on the bed, close to tears from the intensity of the orgasm.
Angel grabbed his shirt from the floor, wiped his face, and crawled up next to her. He showered her face and hair with little kisses. His erection was pressing into her thigh. He wanted her, but needed her to be ready. She smiled and moved to position him on top of her. He stopped her.
"Not this time. This time I want you on top."
She hesitated, "What if I do it wrong?"
He grinned, "Willow, I don't think that's possible."
Angel rolled over on his back. Willow straddled him. With a little help, she guided him to her still wet entrance. She eased him inside, slowly, an inch at a time. He smiled his encouragement. She moved up and down at a leisurely pace. She was enjoying this. She liked the feeling of control that he was giving her. She closed her eyes and threw her head back, giving into the sensation of him filling her.
Angel was watching her every move, drinking in her beauty, her sensuality, and her easy grace. He responded as she quickened her pace, thrusting his hips upward to meet her downward strokes. Her little gasps of pleasure were driving him to the edge. He grabbed her hips, steadying her.
"Open your eyes, Willow. Look at me."
She opened her eyes and looked down at him. Each felt as if the other was looking in at their soul. It was enough. With their eyes locked, they both came; Willow with a whimper of his name, Angel with a shout of hers.
Willow collapsed on top of him, little tears forming in her eyes. Angel felt the drops on his shoulder and rolled her onto her back, next to him. He cradled her face and kissed the wetness on her cheeks.
"Don't cry, little girl. It's okay. I didn't hurt you, did I."
Willow half-laughed, "No, it was just…very intense. I'm fine. This whole thing is playing hell with my hormones."
Angel cradled her in his arms, soothing her with his hands. She settled down, eventually, taking deep breaths.
Angel started to speak, "Willow, I…"
Willow brought her hands to his lips, silencing him with her fingertips. "Shh, tired now. We'll talk later." She giggled, "Bet that's the first time a headache was used for an excuse to have sex."
Angel held her, listening to her breath becoming even. She was asleep.
He finally spoke, "Willow, I love you. Maybe I won't feel this way in a week, but, right now, I love you. I just wanted the chance to tell you. And I'm glad you're giving us the chance to find out."
Willow spoke one word,
softly, in her sleep. "Angel."