HOW ANGELUS STOLE CHRISTMAS
By Beth M.
Every
Who down in Who-ville
Liked
Christmas a lot...
But
Angelus,
Who
lived just north of Who-ville
Did
NOT!
Angelus
hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now,
please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It
could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.
It
could be, perhaps, that his leather pants were too tight.
But
I think that the most likely reason of all
May
have been that his cock was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever
the reason,
His
pants or his cock,
He
stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the lot,
Staring
down from his mansion with a sour, vampirey frown
At
the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For
he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was
busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
“And
they’re hanging their stockings,” he snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow
is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then
he growled, with his vampire fingers nervously drumming,
“I
MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”
For,
Tomorrow,
he knew...
...All
the Who girls and boys
Would
wake bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!
And
then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s
one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then
the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And
they’d feast! And they’d feast!
And
they’d FEAST!
FEAST!
FEAST!
FEAST!
They
would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast-beast
Which
was something that Angelus couldn’t stand in the least!
And THEN
They’d do something
He liked least of all!
Every
Who in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Would
stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They’d
stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing!
AND they’d SING! SING! SING! SING!
And
the more Angelus thought of this Who-Christmas-Sing,
The
more Angelus thought, “I must stop this whole thing!
“Why
for two hundred years I’ve put up with it now!
“I
MUST stop this Christmas from coming!
... But HOW?”
Then
he got an idea!
An
awful idea!
ANGELUS
GOT
A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I
know just what to do!” Angelus laughed in his throat.
And
he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And
he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great vampirey trick!
“With
this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All
I need is a reindeer...”
Angelus
looked around.
But,
since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did
that stop old Angelus...?
No!
Angelus simply said,
“If
I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
So,
he called his boy, Spike. Then he took some red thread
And
he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN
He
loaded some sacks
On
a ramshackle sleigh
And
he hitched up Spike’s wheelchair
And
began on his way.
Then
Angelus said, “Giddap!”
And
the sleigh started down
Towards
the homes where the Whos
Lay
a-snooze in their town.
All
their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All
the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
When
he came to the first little house on the square.
“This
is stop number one,” the old Angelus Claus hissed
And
he climbed to the roof, empty sacks in his fist.
Then
he slid down the chimney. A rather tight measure.
But,
if Santa could do it, so could Angelus in red leather.
He
got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then
he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue
Where
the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
“These
stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
Then
he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around
the whole room, and he took every present!
Who-Butt
plugs?! And hand cuffs?! A rubber Who-dick?!
Latex
stiletto boots?! Who-Lube?! A giant black prick?!
Angelus
scratched his head, confused, and felt a twitch in his pants...
Then
a shrug, and a frown, then with nary a glance
He
stuffed them in bags. Then Angelus, very nimbly,
Stuffed
all the bags, one by one, up the chimbley!
The
he slunk to the icebox. He took the Who-feast!
He
took the Who-pudding! The took the roast beast!
He
cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why,
Angelus even took their last can of Who-hash!
Then
he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
“And
NOW!” grinned Angelus, “I will stuff up the tree!”
And
Angelus grabbed the tree, and he started to shove
When
he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove!
He
turned around fast, and he saw a small teen!
Little
Willow Lou Who, who was just seventeen.
Angelus
had been caught by this tiny Who daughter
Who’d
got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She
stared at Angelus and said, “Santy Claus, why,
“Why
are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”
But,
you know, that old Angelus was so smart and so slick
He
thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
“Why,
my sweet little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied,
“There’s
a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.
“So
I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear.
“I’ll
fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
But
Willow Lou Who wasn’t hearing his lie.
She
straightened her nightie and let out a sigh,
“But
Santy Claus, sir, I’ve been such a bad girl,
Spank
me, Santy Claus! C’mon, give it a whirl!”
Angelus
froze, his head in a spin
Could
this Willow Lou Who really want to commit such a sin?
The
leather of his pants pitched quite a tent,
And
he longed to tug down the zipper to vent.
He
sat on the couch and patted his lap,
The
redheaded Who leapt to his side in a snap.
She
straddled his legs, and faced towards his chest,
Then
she, RIGHT THROUGH THE SILK, began to nibble his breast.
She
slid off his lap, and knelt on the floor.
Who’d
ever believe Willow would be a Who-whore?
With
a zip and a tug, Angelus found his pants at his knees
And
Willow Lou Who had her mouth aimed to please.
She
suckled the head before swallowing the shaft.
For
a shy young girl, she was skilled at her craft.
With
a spurt and a moan, he shot down her throat,
Then
stood from the couch and straightened his coat.
“My
darling, my redhead, my wicked little Who,
It’s
time for Old Santy Claus to punish you.”
He
lifted her nightie right over her head,
And
with an smirk and a snarl, Angelus simply said,
“I’m
going to beat you with my black leather belt,
I
can assure you, my dear, that it’ll leave quite a welt.”
With
a tug and a flourish, his belt he removed,
And
it cracked and it snapped with a sound he approved.
And
little Willow Lou Who shivered and shook,
And
started to wonder how to get herself off the hook.
She
played a good game, and she sucked a mean dick,
But
the gleam in his eye made her realize quite quick
That
this was no mere Santy Claus,
But
Angelus, the meanest vampire of ALL!
“OH,
Angelus, PLEASE... OH, Angelus, SIR!”
She
backed towards the door from the Saboteur.
“Willow
Lou Who,” he said with a chuckle,
“Come
back to me now, and face my belt buckle.”
She
hesitated, trembling, and moved just a hair,
Watching
Angelus waving his hand in the air.
She
moved closer to him, feeling weak in the knees,
And
brushed her nipples against his chest, Oh, what a tease!
Saint
Angelus’s hands grabbed at her Who-rump,
He
knew this would be no ordinary Who-hump.
Spinning
her body, her back to his chest,
He
bent her right over for her first little test.
“Willow
Lou Who, you know who I am,
“I’m
Angelus, the meanest son-of-a-bitch in the land,
“I’ve
fucked your Who-mouth, and I shall spank your Who-butt,
“And
then what shall we do, my little Who-slut?”
He
raised his right hand, and brought it down with a slap,
With
his left hand, he quickly covered her trap.
To
awake her Who-parents, or all her Who-neighbors
Would
ruin his game and bring the Who-Slayer.
Buffy
Lou Who, that bratty little twat,
She’d
ruin their fun, obnoxious little snot.
Willow
Lou Who, now into the game,
Wiggled
her ass in the air with no shame.
Angelus
brought down his belt, again and again,
So
hard that her little Who-head began to swim.
He
then reached around in the front to her cunt,
And
wriggled a finger inside with a grunt.
Who-wetness
and tightness surrounded his finger,
She
clinched her muscles tightly, wanting his finger to linger.
With
a glance at the mantle, he discovered the time,
“Oh,
Willow Lou Who, someday soon you’ll be mine...”
Pinching
her clit, she started to spasm,
Giving
in to a massive Who-gasm.
Standing
her straight, he kissed the top of her head.
And
he got her a drink and he sent her to her bed.
And
when Willow Lou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE
went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up.
It
was a quarter til dawn...
All
the Whos, still a-bed,
All
the Whos, still a-snooze
When
he packed up his sled,
Packed
it up with their presents! The strap-ons! The Who-whips!
The
Who-cuffs! The dildos! The Who-collars! The nipple-clips!
Three
thousand feet up! Up the side to his house!
His
reindeer, poor Spike, that weak little mouse,
Muttered,
and cursed under his breath,
“She’s
a sick, sick girl, this writer named Beth.”
Angelus
grinned and whipped at his back,
“Wheel
faster and faster, you limp, little sap!”
“Pooh-Pooh
to the Whos!” he was vampire-ish-ly humming.
“They’re
finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”
“They’re
just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!
“Their
mouths will hang open a minute or two
“Then
the Whos down in Who-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!
“That’s
a noise,” grinned Angelus,
“That
I simply MUST hear!”
So
he paused. And Angelus put his hand to his ear.
And
he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It
started in low. Then it started to grow...
But
the sound wasn’t sad!
Why,
this sound sounded merry!
It
couldn’t be so!
But
it WAS merry! VERY!
He
stared down at Who-ville!
Angelus
popped his eyes!
Then
he shook!
What
he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every
Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the small,
Was
fucking! Without any presents at all!
He
HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming!
THEY
CAME!
Somehow
or other, they came just the same!
And
Angelus, with his vampire-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood
puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?
“It
came without strap-ons! It came without whips!
“It
came without dildos, handcuffs or clips!”
And
he puzzled three hours, til his puzzler was sore.
Then
Angelus thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe
Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.
“Maybe
Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!”
And
what happened then...?
Well...
in Who-ville they say
That
Angelus’s small cock
Grew
three sizes that day!
And
the minute his cock didn’t feel quite so tight,
He
whizzed with his load through the dark morning light
And
he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he...
... HE HIMSELF...!
Found
Willow Lou Who in the midst of the fray,
All
by herself, with her fingers at play.
Red
velvet curls hiding fingers that plunged
Within
her tight cunt...Angelus lunged.
“Willow,
my dear, my little Who-trollop,
Prepare
yourself, sugar, my cock packs a wallop!”
Never
saying a word, she worked herself harder,
Angelus
grinned, admiring her ardor.
His
cock that had grown an amazing three sizes,
Started
to rise! Rise! Rise! Rise! Rises!
Removing
his belt, his coat and his hat,
He
soon freed his dick, not just long but quite fat!
Willow
Lou Who came with a scream,
Massaging
her clit, lost in a dream.
Lust-filled
eyes gazed up at St. Nick,
“Come
here, Angel Claus, come to me quick!”
Pumping
his cock in his own little fist,
He
moved to the Who with a quick little twist.
“Willow
Lou Who, are you ready for this?”
His
tongue filled her mouth in a wicked French kiss.
Pushing
open her legs, he kneeled in between them.
And
entered her twat, releasing a scream.
And
beginning to thrust, he pumped and he pumped...
And
he pumped and he thrust, thrust, thrust, THRUST...
He
thrust.
And
he thrust.
And
the thrust, thrust, thrust, THRUST!
And
Willow Lou Who, who pulled at her nipples,
Moaned
and she moaned and she moaned...
And
she moaned,
Moaned...
Moaned...
MOANED.
St.
Angelus bucked, and he hissed and he growled,
And
he bit the small Who and beneath him, she howled.
His
vampirey fingers found her wet clit,
And
they pulled and they twisted,
Til
she came in a fit.
He
pulled out in a flourish of movement and grace,
And
flipped Willow Lou Who right onto her face.
Spreading
her cheeks, positioning his dick,
He
plunged into her ass, entering quick.
The
red-headed Who, clenching her muscles so tight,
Invited
the vampire to take another bite.
Angelus
Claus, pumping and moaning,
Tore
into her skin with his fangs, always groaning.
He
came in a spurt, he came with a shout,
He
came and he came, then he pulled his cock out.
Residents
of Who-Ville, the tall and the small,
Watched
Angelus and Willow, watched them in awe.
Then
the little Who-Slayer moved to the front.
“But,
Angel!” she cried,
“Angel,
my pet!
Why
are you bothering with her,
Can’t
you see I’m quite wet?
I
could stake you right here,
Right
in your heart...
Think
of this now,
And
you’d better be smart!”
“Oh,
Buffy, my Buffster, my former Who-Whore,
You
were fun for a while, but now I want more.
This
tiny Who red-head, this cute little duck,
Is
really, quite simply, a much better fuck.”
“You
lay on your back,” he continued with glee,
“And
you cry and you sigh, and bore the shit out of me.
Willow
Lou Who, of tight ass and mouth,
Is
ten times the Who-Woman that you’ll ever be.”
The
Who-Slayer bitched and left in a snit,
Leaving
Angelus behind with a strong urge to spit.
But
Willow Lou Who thrust her ass in the air.
“C’mon,
Santy Claus, stick it in there.”
Angelus
growled, he snarled and he smiled,
He
hadn’t felt quite so content in a while.
The
spirit of Christmas, the spirit of giving,
Crept
in his heart, he, the UnLiving.
With
a smack to her ass, and a kiss on her mouth,
He
turned to the Who’s and said with a shout,
“Thank
you so much, for seeing this Who-Fuck-Fest,
Happy
Fucking to All, and have a great Christmas!”
Undead
and all, the vampire named Angelus,
Grabbed
his Who-Whore, and left for Los Angeles.
fin